Written responses for Unit 2



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Written responses for Unit 2

Essay writer’s name____Tiasia currie______________

_Peer’s name__ Huzaifa Ahmed_________________
Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.


It is interesting to know how hectic the life of pharmacy students is. Also it is an informative essay. I did`nt know that there are so many opportunities for a pharmacist

2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?


YES NO What do you see as that purpose?
NO

*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?


Students who want to pursue a career in Pharmacy

5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.

Through out an essay different opportunities for pharmacists have been revealed. Any body pursuing a career in pharmacy will be interested in this essay

*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.


Profiling pharmacy students.

Is the thesis specific enough? YES NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.


Yes

*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.


Par. 1 YES Par. 5 YES
Par. 2 YES Par. 6 YES
Par. 3 YES Par. 7 YES
Par. 4 YES Par. 8 YES

*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:


Yes

*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.

a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? YES
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:

b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?


YES If not, explain here:

c. Is the information understandable to you? YES Comment:

d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES
List terms that need to be defined here:

10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?


Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Why?

*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.

a. What person or persons were interviewed?
Pharmacy students

b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.

c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
none

d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?


yes

12. Does the introduction


a. Get readers’ attention? YES
b. Present the thesis? YES
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES
d. Comments:

13. Does the conclusion


a. Remind you of what has been said? YES
b Provide something new to think about? YES
c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES
d. Comments:


  1. Written Peer Response

Essay writer’s name__ Kingsley Osuji ______________________ Peer’s name______Huzaifa Ahmed____________________

Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
This Essay was a bit informative. But I think its more of a dialogue.

2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?


YES NO What do you see as that purpose?
NO

*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?


Music producers.

4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?


Music producers

5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.

a. “Producing music is an art that takes a very long time to master”

b.” Today’s production has evolved from what it had first originated from”

*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
I think he is trying to profile is web page

Is the thesis specific enough? YES NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.


Yes

*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.


Par. 1 YES Par. 5 YES
Par. 2 YES Par. 6 YES
Par. 3 YES Par. 7 YES
Par. 4 YES Par. 8 YES

*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:

I don’t think so, I think you should elaborate on your essay.

*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.

a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? SOMEWHAT
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:

b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?


YES NO UNSURE If not, explain here:
Unsure

c. Is the information understandable to you? YES NO Comment:

Yes

d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES


List terms that need to be defined here:

*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.

a. What person or persons were interviewed?
His friend

b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.


Because he was a music producer.

c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)


none

d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?


yes

12. Does the introduction


a. Get readers’ attention? YES
b. Present the thesis? YES
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES
d. Comments:It was good

13. Does the conclusion


a. Remind you of what has been said? YES
b Provide something new to think about? YES
c. Round the essay off smoothly? Unsure
d. Comments:
I think you should add some more stuff.

Note: Professor I don’t have oral response sheets for unit 2 .I couldn’t attend class that day because of an emergency and we talked about it before. You said it was alright.

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