Foundations of Healthy Relationships



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Foundations of Healthy Relationships

  • Health Education

Bell Ringer Jan. 29th

  • “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? 
  • And why are you waiting?”
  •  
  • ~Stephen Levine

Personal Health Inventory

  • Self-Inventory: Read each statement below and respond by
  • writing yes, no or sometimes for each item. Write a yes only
  • for items that you practice regularly. Save these responses.
  • I treat others with respect.
  • I am a team player.
  • I am a trustworthy individual.
  • I often use compromise to resolve differences.
  • I am willing to work at my relationships.
  • I communicate well with others.
  • I am a good listener.
  • I ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said.
  • I use eye contact when communicating with others.
  • I am aware of my own body language.

Think Quick !

  • List 10 characteristics that you think are needed for a healthy relationship
  • Rank the characteristics in order of importance, and explain why you ranked each as you did.

Healthy Relationships

  • Relationship
    • A bond or connection you have with other people
  • Relationships allow us to meet our needs to be:
    • LOVED
    • SAFE
    • SECURE
    • VALUED
    • RECOGNIZED

Healthy Relationships

  • All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your health
  • Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all areas of your health.
  • Healthy Relationships are based on:
  • What?
    • Shared values
    • Shared interests
    • Mutual respect

Healthy Relationships

  • Family Relationships
    • Immediate Family
    • Extended Family
  • How do healthy family
  • relationships enhance
  • all sides of your health
  • Triangle?
  • Teach values, manners and socialize you.
  • Food, Clothing, Shelter
  • Give you love, care and encouragement

Healthy Relationships

  • Friendship Relationships
    • Significant relationship between 2 people that is based on caring, trust and consideration
  • Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by:
    • Sharing similar values (M/E and Social)
    • Share hobbies and interests (Physical, Social, M/E)
    • Sharing friends (Social and M/E)
    • Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept (M/E)
    • Helping to resist negative influences (Physical, M/E, Social)

Healthy Relationships

  • Friend or Acquaintance?
    • Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship
      • Not as much caring, trust or consideration
      • Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in time of need.
  • As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that true?
  • Questions to Consider
  • Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why?
  • What causes you to call someone a friend or acquaintance?
  • Create 2 lists: Benefits of spending time alone & with friends

Healthy Relationships

  • Community Relationships
    • Citizenship
      • The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community
  • Work together to promote the safety and well-being of the entire community
    • Community Watch Donation Drives
    • Volunteer Programs Obey laws
    • Food Bank Golden Rule

Healthy Relationship Characteristics in Action

  • Work in groups of 2 or 3
  • Compare your lists that you created earlier
  • Choose the top 2 characteristics that you can all agree on
  • Prepare a skit that demonstrates those characteristics to promote a healthy relationship
  • Prepare a 2nd skit that demonstrates what happens to the healthy relationship when those characteristics are not present

Bell Ringer Jan. 30th

  • Explain how healthy family relationships improve a persons 1. physical 2.social 3.mental/emotional health
  • Bell Ringer February 2nd
  • Define Citizenship. What are 3 examples of ways that you can get involved with your community? Why would this positively impact your personal health?
  • Bell Ringer February 4th
  • Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies.
  • Describe the 4 techniques for Active Listening.

Building Healthy Relationships & Communication

The 4 C’s to Building Healthy Relationships

  • For a relationship to succeed and be healthy, the people involved need certain skills.
  • 4 C’s
    • Communication
    • Cooperation
    • Compromise
    • Character
  • C
  • C
  • C
  • C

Communication

  • Communication
    • The way you send and receive messages from others
    • What are some ways we communicate?
  • Effective communication is a 2 way street
  • There are 3 basic skills necessary for effective communication
    • 1. Speaking
    • 2. Listening
    • Body Language
    • http://www.ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence#t-32892
  • Cooperation
    • Working with others to accomplish a goal

Nonviolent Communication

  • NVC: A way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart. We humans need to be reminded that we were always meant to RELATE to one another.
    • Speaking and listening in a way that connects us to ourselves and each other that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
  • NVC replaces habitual patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgement and criticism.

Communication that Blocks Compassion:

  • Moralistic Judgements: implying wrongness or badness on the part of people who do not harmonize with our values.
    • Analyzing others are actually expressions of our own needs and values. Judging others promotes violence.
  • Making Comparisons: Comparisons are a form of judgement, and can start to make people feel miserable.
  • Denial of Responsibility: We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
  • Question to consider:
  • How Do You Feel About Reality TV Shows???
  • “ People don’t watch these shows to engage with them in a genuine way, They watch so they can look down on people. I call it “ Masterpiece Stupidity.”

Communication Styles

  • 3 Communication Styles
    • Passive (“Mrs. Go Along”)
      • Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions
      • Do not stand up for their beliefs
    • Aggressive (“Mr. Pushy”)
      • Always try to get their way
      • Use bullying and intimidation
    • Assertive (“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”)
      • Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others
      • However, they respect the thoughts of others

Compromise

  • Compromise
    • Giving up something so that all can reach a satisfying solution
    • WIN-WIN SITUATION
  • Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen relationships
  • All must be satisfied with the solution

Character in Relationships

  • There are 6 major character traits present in all HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
    • Trustworthiness
    • Respect
    • Responsibility
    • Fairness
    • Caring
    • Citizenship
  • Can you identify these Character Traits?

How to Resolve Conflicts

  • Conflict: Condition that exists any time 2 people disagree.
  • Conflict Resolution: Process of ending a conflict through cooperation and problem solving.
  • Steps for Conflict Resolution:
    • 1. Get calm and think before you speak
    • 2. Remember, tone of voice is essential! Speak in a calm voice
    • 3. Ask questions to gather all the facts
    • 4. Utilize Active Listening Technique!
    • 5. Focus on the problem, not the person
    • 6. Empathy
    • Avoid:
    • Name calling
    • Clashing Egos
    • Blaming or threating comments- Use “I” Messages
    • Defensive body language
    • LETS RECONCILE OUR DIFFERENCES!!!!!

“I” vs. “You” messages

  • I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming someone for it.
  • This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit that they were wrong.
  • Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"

“I” vs. “You” messages

  • “I” statements
  • “YOU” statements
  • Non Threatening
  • Threatening
  • Neutral Opinion
  • Initiates defensive response
  • “Attacking”
  • Can be difficult
  • Automatic reaction

“I” Message vs. “You” Message

  • Aggressive (“You”) Message
  • What not to say
  • “You idiot! You took my client and cost me money. You owe me big time.”
  • “Why are you always late? It’s really annoying.”
  • Assertive (“I”) Message
  • What to say
  • “I’m upset that my client was taken away from me.”
  • “I worry about you when you don’t show up.”

How to construct and “I” sentence

  • I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling)
  • when you _____________________________ (describe the action)
  • because _______________________________ (say why the action connects to your feeling)

Warm-Up Feb. 4th

  • Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies.
  • List the 4 C’s for building healthy relationships.
  • What is conflict resolution? What is the most important thing to remember when you are dealing with a conflict?

Listening Skills

  • Hearing is not listening!!!
  • Active Listening
    • Listening while involving yourself in the conversation
    • The average listener retains and understands about 30% of what he/ she hears
    • Paying careful attention without judging or interrupting
  • 80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.

Techniques for Active Listening

  • Restating
  • Clarifying
    • Ask questions to show your attention
  • Encouragement
    • Provide statement/gestures to encourage more conversation
      • “I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod
  • Empathy
    • Try to understand their feelings
    • Put yourself in their shoes

Body Language Skills

  • Body Language = Non-Verbal Communication
    • The message you send to others based on the way your body looks.
      • Eye contact
      • Posture
      • Gestures
      • Behaviors
    • As much as 65% of face - face communication is non - verbal

Technological Advances

  • Cell Phones
  • E-mail
  • Text Messaging
  • Internet
    • Chat rooms

Questions to Debate

  • Has the advancement of technology improved or hurt the communication skills of today’s youth?
  • Is e-mail an effective method of handling relationship issues? How about texting?
  • Should teens be permitted to use online chat rooms or blogs?

Bell Ringer Feb. 5th

  • Describe 3 ways that technology has helped the communication skills of todays youth and 3 ways it has hurt the communication skills of todays youth.

Alright, So how do I start/maintain a conversation with a person I like?

  • Say “Hello” and introduce yourself
  • Learn about the persons interests/ Find Commonalities
  • Talk about things you both can discuss
    • Surrounding, School, Likes/Dislikes, Hypothetical
  • Listen to the other persons responses
  • Make “Eye Contact” but do not stare
  • Use previously taught skills

Conversation Starters

  • Focus on other person, not self
  • Stay positive
  • Avoid controversy (religion, politics, ect..)
  • Examples:
    • You look really nice, where did you get….(item)
    • Have you seen any movie lately, what did you think?
    • What kind of music/TV/activities do you like?
    • What do you normally do for fun?
    • Have you ever (activity) ….?
    • Do you like sports (other topic)?
    • Have you ever been to (Place)?

Constructive Feedback

  • No one is perfect!
  • Sometimes, people do things that you do not appreciate.
    • Ex. Make you late for a movie
    • Ex. Name calling or blaming.
  • Constructive Feedback- non-hostile comments that points out problem and encourages improvement
    • TIPS: “I” Messages, Tone, Body Language

Feedback Sandwich

  • When giving Constructive Feedback, use this method to help communication with others.
    • Step 1 (+)- Give compliment
    • Step 2- Inform person of the problem in a non-threatening way
    • Step 3 (+) - Offer steps for improvement

Character Essay

  • Directions:
  • Think about a relationship situation where you had the opportunity to demonstrate good character traits.
  • Pick your top 3 character traits (Examples: respect, trust, honesty, loyalty, reliability) Each paragraph will demonstrate a different character trait.
  • Write 3 paragraphs (5-6 sentences per paragraph) describing the situation and how you responded. What would have happened to your relationship if you had done something different (opposite)?


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