What I have Learned about Women



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What I have Learned about Women

Braces, acne, long greasy hair, a big nose, and ears that stick out—these aren’t exactly features beautiful women look for in men. In eighth grade, after a couple of girls told me, “You remind me of a mouse” as a compliment, I learned that I was a pretty ugly guy. With mouse-like features, there was little to no possibility of my attracting women. Therefore, as a new student entering high school in the Dominican Republic, the only solution I saw to solving this problem was by making friends with Aaron. Aaron was also a new student and girls would rave on and on about his muscular build, short blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and diamond stud earring. I figured, what better way to attract women, than by being friends with someone who had nearly every girl at his feet? Perhaps from all the girls who threw themselves at him, some of the cute ones who didn’t have a chance with him, would want to take a chance with me?

In the ninth grade, I liked a cute girl called Mabel. Looking back on it, I guess what I liked about her the most was her smile and the way she acted. Even though she wasn’t the hottest girl, her confidence and attitude made her very sexy (that, and her butt looked real good in tight jeans). Well, since I hung out with Aaron, I now had the confidence to approach Mabel and ask her for phone number. The only problem in pursuing Mabel was that I didn’t have much experience with women.

I liked her a lot but I really didn’t know how to act upon my feelings. Even though she already had a boyfriend, I thought that she was soon going to dump the guy because of his reputation of cheating on her and because she preferred talking to me over the phone than to him. I figured it was only a matter of time before I took his place. We talked over the phone for hours at a time and I continued calling her for about six months. That’s right, six months! The reason why I called her for such a long time was because I thought she was playing hard to get. Unfortunately, when I told her that I liked her and I wanted to take our relationship further she said, “I only see you as a friend.”

After things didn’t work out with Mabel, there was no point in being friends with Aaron anymore. He wasn’t helping me get girls and I was tired of going to his house every weekend to watch movies and eat pizza. Actually, in the whole time I liked Mabel, he never went after girls! I couldn’t explain it. Here you have a guy who could get any girl he wanted and instead, he preferred to stay home over the weekends to workout. According to him, he “hooked up” with girls every vacation he went back to New York or traveled to the beach. But in my opinion, he was more like a waste of good looks. I then turned back to my best friend Sebastian, who was quite upset that I had dissed him for most of the ninth grade to hang out with Aaron. With Sebastian, we later dubbed Aaron “Fagron” and his friends as members of the “I Got Ass in the States Club.”

After miserably failing my last attempt to get the girl I wanted, in tenth grade I decided to adopt a new “bad boy” image. “Bad boys” got all the women. They go out to parties and while smoking and drinking, women sort of just come to them. It’s a phenomenon I could not explain and cannot explain up until this day. However, Sebastian understood how the phenomenon worked and after a couple beers and a few dances, by the end of the night, he almost always hooked-up with a girl. While I was still struggling to get girl’s phone numbers.

Even though a different girl turned me down every weekend, what was great about the whole experience was that I lost my shyness approaching beautiful women. It took me about a month for me to lose something people call “self-respect.” One weekend in the mall, Sebastian convinced me that a girl was looking at me. I then approached her with a plastic sunflower and said, “I had you in a dream and haven’t stopped thinking of you.” The girl thought it was stupidest pick-up line she had ever heard, but gave me her phone number. However, talking to her on the phone didn’t last too long since she suddenly picked up an interest in finding out more about Sebastian than about me.

It was later, at a club, when I met a girl who was interested in me. After having a couple of beers, I approached a very thin girl, who was sitting alone in the dark. From what I could see, I saw that she had green eyes and that she was wearing a short, tight black dress, with a v-neck cut that showed a lot of cleavage. I remember staring at her breasts the whole time I talked with her. She gave me her name, Desiree, and her phone number and set up a date to meet in the same place the upcoming week.

When I arrived there the next week, the thin girl I talked with the previous week had an inverted skull! Her slightly caved-in forehead, protruding lower-jaw, and small nose made her face look like the flat face of a block. At that point in time, she still hadn’t seen me, but before I could turn around and walk out, Sebastian yelled out, “Desiree, Danny is over here” and pointed at me. I still hate Sebastian up to this day for having done that. That night I did not want to be me. I had to dump the ugly girl that night by making up some bullshit that I already had a girlfriend and that I didn’t want to cheat on her. Since then, she has been the only girl I have ever dumped and the last time I ever picked up girls while I was drunk.

After that experience, most of the weekends at clubs and at parties I simply sat around with friends smoking and drinking. During that whole time, girls never came up to us. In eleventh grade, before a party, Sebastian invited one of his girlfriend’s friends along. Her name was Berna and she was from Bulgeria. She had short, blonde, greasy hair, was shorter than me, and dressed like a skater-chick. Although she was two years older than me, after a couple of beers, we ended up making-out at the party, and the next day, she became my girlfriend. During the whole time I dated her, all she wanted to have was sex, but I could never go through with it. I could never take off my pants. I guess, I always thought that my first sexual experience was going to be with someone I really cared about. A month and a half later, she broke up with me because at a party, she talked to her ex-boyfriend and wanted get back together with him. Apparently, her ex-boyfriend had cheated on her two months ago and she wanted to get him back by using me. I was more than happy to let go of her and today, my friends and I remember her as the “Siberian Slut.”

I can’t exactly write down all of my experiences with women into a five-page essay (that would take at least 20 pages). But from these few experiences during high school, I learned that if girls play hard to get, it is usually for less than six months. Girls also won’t fall for a guy who calls and talks to them for long hours at a time because they will only consider him as a friend.

I’ve learned that I don’t need to hang out with certain people to get attention from girls or act like someone I am not. If a girl is going to like me, she will like me just the way I am. I’ve learned that girls I pick up while I’m drunk look a lot different than when I’m sober. When I’m drunk, girls I wouldn’t normally look at, look beautiful. I’ve learned that women like men who are confident and who are not afraid to approach them. In my experience, no matter how pretty a girl has looked, if I approached her nicely, she usually notices that I am not an insecure person. Sometimes, when I do take that chance, the girls I approach might even like me.



From these experiences, I have also learned what kind of girl I want and what kind of guy I am. I am not the kind of guy who is only looking for a good time with girls. If I date a girl who just wants sex, I don’t put out. I just don’t feel right. I have learned that each person has to decide what kind of experiences he or she wants to have with persons of the opposite sex. I’ve decided that I want my experiences to have less to do with sex and more to do with romance. I guess I’m a sensitive guy. Well, you can say whatever you want, today I am not single and I am very happy dating a very sweet girl.

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