*Listening is of the utmost … STRATEGIC importance! *Listening is a proper … COREVALUE ! *Listening is … TRAINABLE ! *Listening is a … PROFESSION !
Is there a full-bore training course in "Listening" for 100% ofemployees, CEO to temps? If not, There [damnwell] ought to be.
“My education in leadership began in Washington when I was an assistant to Defense Secretary William Perry. He was universally loved and admired by heads of state … and our own and allied troops. A lot of that was because of the way he listened. Each person who talked to him had his complete, undivided attention. Everyone blossomed in his presence, because he was so respectful, and I realized I wanted to affect people the same way.
“Perry became my role model but that was not enough. Something bigger had to happen, and it did. It was painful to realize how often I just pretended to hear people. How manytimes had I barelyglanced up from my work when a subordinate came into my office? I wasn’t paying attention; I was markingtime until it was my turn to give orders. That revelation led me to a new personal goal. I vowed to treat every encounter with every person on Benfold (Abrashoff was the Captain) as the most important thing at that moment. It wasn’t easy, but my crew’s enthusiasm and ideas kept me going.
“It didn’t take me long to realize that my young crew was smart, talented and full of good ideas that usually came to nothing because no one in charge had ever listened to them. … I decided that myjob was to listen aggressively …” —Mike Abrashoff, It’s Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy
“Everyone has a story to tell, if only you have the patience to wait for it and not get in the way of it.” —Charles McCarry, Christopher’s Ghosts
Suggested addition to your statement of Core Values: “We are Effective Listeners—we treat Listening EXCELLENCE as the Centerpiece of our Commitment to Respect and Engagement and Community and Growth.”
Regularly help too soon—and you will set up expectation of inaction until your "help" is provided.
Help poorly conveyed spawns powerlessness
and resentment in recipient.
Helping requires a sniper's rifle or surgeon's
scalpel—not a shotgun or machete.
Helping strategies vary [significantly] from individual to individual—leave the “cookie cutter” at home.
Effectively "helping" may be the most difficult
leadership task of all!
"Help" is only truly successful when the recipient
says, and believes: "I did it myself!"
Near truism: Nobody wants help. But we would
all like to have received help.
Guitarist Robert Fripp: "Don't be helpful. Be available. Helpful people are a nuisance."
K = R = P
“Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.” —Henry Clay “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving* to be appreciated.” —William James *“Craving,” not “wish” or “desire” or “longing”/Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (“The BIG Secret of Dealing With People”) “The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.” —John Dewey
"Let's not forget that small emotions are the great captains of our lives." –—Van Gogh