MBWA 8: Change the World With EIGHT Words What do you think?* How can I help?** *Dave Wheeler: “What are the four most important words in the boss’ lexicon?” **Boss as CHRO/Chief Hurdle Removal Officer **********************************
MBWA 12: Change the World With TWELVE Words What do you think?* How can I help?** What have you learned?*** *Dave Wheeler: “What are the four most important words in the boss’ lexicon?” **Boss as CHRO/Chief Hurdle Removal Officer ********************************** ***What [new thing] have you learned [in the last 24 hours]? ********************* *
Tomorrow: How many times will you “ask the WDYT question”? [Count ’em!!] [Practice makes better!] [This is a STRATEGIC skill!]
“WDYT” = Certification of me as a person of Importance whose opinion is valued.
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving* to be appreciated.” —William James *“Craving,” not “wish” or “desire” or “longing”/Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (“The BIG Secret of Dealing With People”)
“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.” —John Dewey (In Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (“The BIG Secret of Dealing With People”)
“The deepest human need is the need to be appreciated.” William James
“Society is a vehicle for earthly heroism. Man transcends death by finding meaning for his life. It is the burning desire for the creature to count. What man really fears is not extinction, but extinction with insignificance.” —Ernest Becker, Denial of Death
“Employees who don't feel significant rarely make significant contributions.” —Mark Sanborn
“People want to be part of something larger than themselves. They want to be part of something they’re really proud of, that they’ll fight for, sacrifice for , trust.” —Howard Schultz, Starbucks
A good friend scored a big win yesterday—
her "target" was feeling un-acknowledged; by “merely” “showing up,” she, in effect, acknowledged that person.
“Acknowledge” … perhaps the most powerful word (and idea) in the English language—and manager’s tool kit!
Acknowledge and appreciate and succeed. (That's all,
folks. No kidding.)
Boil it down, and all we want is to be acknowledged. Get that, routinely offer such acknowledgement—and you couldn't fail if you tried.
“It was much later that I realized Dad’s secret. He gained respect by giving it. He talked and listened to the fourth-grade kids in Spring Valley who shined shoes the same way he talked and listened to a bishop or a college president. HE WAS SERIOUSLY INTERESTED IN WHO YOU WERE AND WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY.”
Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, Respect
“Yes, but …”
“Yes, but …”
“Yes, and …”
“Research indicates the pitch, volume and pace of your voice affect what people think you said about fivetimes as much as the actual words you used .” —Stanford Business/Spring 2012/on the work of
Prof. Deborah Gruenfeld
Albert Mehrabian’s [directional] “7-38-55 Rule”
Your words: 7%
Your tone of voice: 38%
Your body language: 55%
7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken.
38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).
55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression.
Meetings are #1 thing bosses do. Therefore, 100% of those meetings: EXCELLENCE. ENTHUSIASM. ENGAGEMENT. LEARNING. TEMPO. WORK-OF-ART. DAMNIT.
Meeting: Every meeting that does not stir the imagination and curiosity of attendees and increase bonding and co-operation and engagement and sense of worth and motivate rapid action and enhance enthusiasm is a permanently lost opportunity.
(If a boss gives off vibes of boredom or distraction or looks like he/she would rather be anywhere else—staff get the message in < 15 seconds. FOR SHAME.)
FYI: This is … not … a rant about “conducting better meetings.”
Meeting = Theater
Prepare for a meeting/every meeting as if your professional life and legacy depended on it.