Lesson: The Editing Doctors



Download 73.7 Kb.
Date30.04.2018
Size73.7 Kb.
#42226
Lesson: The Editing Doctors

The Red Light way of teaching editing skills is to give students endless worksheets with incorrect sentences ready to be corrected and turned in. The Green Light method turns this potentially deadly dull process into a playful metaphor, where students become ‘doctors.’ and treat ‘patients’ who have become ‘ill.’ The patients, in this case, are paragraphs, and the illnesses they have are the things that need to be corrected, such as spelling, capitalization, and punctuation.


Materials: Lab coats, 5 or 6 “sick” essays, highlighters and/or pencils, pre-SCRIPT-ion pad, clipboards, x-rays (corrected paragraphs printed on a transparency)

Pre–S.C.R.I.P.T.–ion For Writing
Dr. Edit
Name of Writing
Type of Illness: S evered spelling

C apitalization cold

R un-on runny nose

I ndent-itus

P unctured Punctuation

T ense tension
Seriousness of Illness: 1 2 3 4 5
Recommended Treatment





Subject: Editing for Grammar and Punctuation


What and Why

How

Day 1

Introduce the concept in a novel way, to create interest and intrigue.

Say to your students: “We have an epidemic! There are so many SICK essays around. We have to help them. As doctors, we need to DIAGNOSE, PRESCRIBE, and TREAT our patients. To DIAGNOSE the problem, we need to look for 6 main illnesses:

Severed spelling

Capitalization Cold

Run-on runny noses

Indentitus

Punctured punctuation

Tense Tension”

Show your students an example and Diagnose the problem, then write a pre-SCRIPT-ion highlighting what to fix. Finally, show how to treat or fix the problem. To see if the diagnosis was correct, hold up a transparency with the illnesses in the essay highlighted.

Students act it out

Students put on lab coats and call each other doctor. They talk about the 6 main illnesses with a partner.

Day 2

Make the concept real

Show a sick essay and a treated essay with ‘bandages’ on it, making it real. (See the High Five Toolkit for examples.)

Students practice in pairs/groups

Students walk to 5 or 6 stations diagnosing, prescribing, and treating sick essays

Day 3

Students retell the concept

Students interview each other to see if they saved any “patients”

Day 4

Memorize the content

Use the SCRIPT acrostic to remember the possible illnesses

Day 5

Test day! Prove they are successful learners!

Tape 11 short “sick” paragraphs to the walls around the room, each one numbered, and each with only ONE illness. Students walk around and choose 10 to diagnose and write a prescription. Evaluate the prescriptions for a 10/10 grade – graph the results.

Celebrate!

Play the song “Witch Doctor” to celebrate the end of the lesson and the grasping of the concept.

Note: Samples of ‘ill’ and ‘healthy’ essays are included in the High Five Toolkit.


*Adjustments for K-2: Use ‘sick’ (mis-spelled) words that need to be ‘cured’. Then move on to sick sentences. Focus on S-spacing (two fingers between each word), C-capital letter in the beginning, and a period at the end. Grades 1-2, only focus on spelling and capitalization for sentences at first and move on to punctuation. Instead of an acrostic, use a physical memory strategy to remember spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. For example, they can stand on their tip-toes to remember capitalization.

If younger students do not have their letter awareness, acronyms obviously won’t work for them. As an alternative memory device, consider using a popsicle stick/tongue depressor with memory cues written on it.  Each student could be given a popsicle stick with a capital letter “C” at the top – to remind them to check for capitalization, and a period at the bottom – to remind them to check for punctuation. The popsicle stick itself might even be placed between words to act as a reminder to leave enough space between words. The tongue depressor is a doctor’s tool so it ties in perfectly with the theme of being doctors.


Green Light Strategies used:

  • Memory – the use of the acronym, S.C.R.I.P.T.

  • Movement – Students are moving around the classroom, checking the various paragraphs. During the majority of the lesson, they are in motion.

  • Novelty – The whole process is unusual, and exciting!

  • Socialization – Students are working in groups as they diagnose the paragraphs.

  • Drama – Students are dressing up as doctors.


High-Five Principles used:

  • #1 True Learning Communities – Students are not just being told the information, they are taking responsibility for their learning as they work together to analyze the paragraphs looking for illnesses.

  • #2 Working Within Their World – The essays are more engaging if they have relevant, or humorous content. Instead of having to work on dry, uninteresting content, the lesson succeeds because it draws students into the content while they simultaneously learn about the editing process.

  • #4 Learning Beyond Listening – Students are not merely sitting listening, they are engaged at multiple levels, up and moving as they become doctors, talk to each other, and check their diagnosis.

  • #5 The Learning Spiral – Students are given the chance to practice with clear examples first, and verify their results. This will provide the foundation of understanding when they later make the step up to analyzing their own paragraphs and essays.

Editing Doctors practice essays
As mentioned in Lesson #1, these are sample practice essays that can be used when first teaching students about the six key ideas to look for when editing their papers. Each essay contains one specific ‘illness.’ In addition, each essay is an example of a different type of writing.
Sick Essay #1

I Don’t Want Your Germs!
Have you ever had a friend or family member get sick and then give the sickness to you? Who’s job is it to make sure we don’t get sick? It is our job. Too many people are careless about the spread of germs. I believe that schools should require students to sanitize there hands three times a day. They should do this because it is keeps germs from spreading and students would not miss as much school from being sick.

Squirt, squirt! That’s all it takes to defend yourself against germs. All students have to do is squirt on some hand sanitizer at the beginning of the day, at lunch, and at the end of the day. Teachers often request hand sanitizer for supplies. We need to start using them like we could of before. Germs need to be defeated.

Achoo! That is the sound of someone sneezing. When they sneeze, they get germs all over their hands. If they go to open a door or use a pencil, they can spread their germs. The hand sanitizer would make sure that the germs are killed before being spread. This can lead to fewer absences.

Its simple.

How many times do you stay home sick in a year? When you stay home from school you miss important information. We could have more students with prefect attendance if they didn’t have to stay home with a cold. Hand sanitizer would pervent those colds.

If principles were smart, they would take my advice and make it a school wide rule to sanitize. It can only benfit the students.




  • This is an example of a persuasive essay.

  • The hidden illness is spelling.


The corrections are …

I Don’t Want Your Germs!
Have you ever had a friend or family member get sick and then give the sickness to you? Whose job is it to make sure we don’t get sick? It is our job. Too many people are careless about the spread of germs. I believe that schools should require students to sanitize their hands three times a day. They should do this because it is keeps germs from spreading and students would not miss as much school from being sick.

Squirt, squirt! That’s all it takes to defend your self against germs. All students have to do is squirt on some hand sanitizer at the beginning of the day, at lunch, and at the end of the day. Teachers often request hand sanitizer for supplies. We need to start using them like we could have before. Germs need to be defeated.

Achoo! That is the sound of someone sneezing. When they sneeze, they get germs all over their hands. If they go to open a door or use a pencil, they can spread their germs. The hand sanitizer would make sure that the germs are killed before being spread. This can lead to fewer absences.

It’s simple.

How many times do you stay home sick in a year? When you stay home from school you miss important information. We could have more students with perfect attendance if they didn’t have to stay home with a cold. Hand sanitizer would prevent those colds.

If principals were smart, they would take my advice and make it a school wide rule to sanitize. It can only benefit the students.
Sick Essay #2

sick as a Dog
Have you ever had surgery? I have. one time I had to get my tonsils taken out. It was not my idea of fun, and my dog had surgery on his paw the same day! My dog and I really bonded during that time.

It was a foggy morning. I had to wake up extra early to get to the hospital for my tonsillectomy- a fancy way of saying tonsil surgery. I wasn’t allowed to eat any breakfast because that is one of the rules of surgery – no food for 12 hours before. My dog, Rufus, was also getting surgery on his paw and he had the same rule. My stomach was a sea of writhing snakes. My heart was pounding like a drum. I never had surgery before, so I was quite scared. I paced my room waiting for the time to leave. “We better get going now,” bellowed my mom.

“I’ll be right there, Mom,” I shouted. When I got down stairs, my dad gave me a pat on the head.

“You okay, kiddo?” He asked.

“I’ll be fine,” I lied.

I gave Rufus a gigantic hug. Somehow he seemed to hug me back to let me know that he could feel my nervousness. “You’ll do just fine ol’ boy,” I assured him. “We’ll heal together; I promise.”

The surgery wasn’t too bad. It just seemed like I took a big nap. When I got home, my parents gave me a lot of attention and ice cream. Rufus was already home when I came in. We just laid in my bed together enjoying the way everyone was taking care of us.

getting tonsil surgery turned out to be an easy experience, and I know that Rufus felt better knowing that I was with him through his healing time. He liked it even better when I snuck him some of my ice cream. We’ll never forget the time when we were both sick as a dog.




  • This is an example of a personal narrative essay.

  • The hidden illness is capitalization.


The corrections are …

Sick as a Dog
Have you ever had surgery? I have. One time I had to get my tonsils taken out. It was not my idea of fun, and my dog had surgery on his paw the same day! My dog and I really bonded during that time.
It was a foggy morning. I had to wake up extra early to get to the hospital for my tonsillectomy- a fancy way of saying tonsil surgery. I wasn’t allowed to eat any breakfast because that is one of the rules of surgery- no food for 12 hours before. My dog, Rufus, was also getting surgery on his paw and he had the same rule. My stomach was a sea of writhing snakes. My heart was pounding like a drum. I never had surgery before, so I was quite scared. I paced my room waiting for the time to leave. “We better get going now,” bellowed my mom.

“I’ll be right there, Mom,” I shouted. When I got down stairs, my dad gave me a pat on the head.

“You okay, kiddo?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine,” I lied.

I gave Rufus a gigantic hug. Somehow he seemed to hug me back to let me know that he could feel my nervousness. “You’ll do just fine ol’ boy,” I assured him. “We’ll heal together; I promise.”

The surgery wasn’t too bad. It just seemed like I took a big nap. When I got home, my parents gave me a lot of attention and ice cream. Rufus was already home when I came in. We just laid in my bed together enjoying the way everyone was taking care of us.



Getting tonsil surgery turned out to be an easy experience, and I know that Rufus felt better knowing that I was with him through his healing time. He liked it even better when I snuck him some of my ice cream. We’ll never forget the time when we were both sick as a dog.
Sick Essay #3

Broken Bone Blues

Crack! It hurts to break a bone! It's different for everyone, but the pain is often like the deep ache you get from a super bad stomachache or headache. Some people may experience sharper pain especially with an open fracture if the fracture is small, a kid may not feel much pain at all. Sometimes, a kid won't even be able to tell that he or she broke a bone! Broken bones can be a shock to the body so here are some facts about what to do if you or someone you know breaks a bone.

Breaking a bone is a big shock to your whole body it’s normal for you to receive strong messages from parts of your body that aren't anywhere close to the fracture. You may feel dizzy, woozy, or chilly from the shock. A lot of people cry for a while. Some people pass out until their bodies have time to adjust to all the signals they're getting. And other people don't feel any pain right away because of the shock of the injury.

“Ouch, help me!” If you think you or someone else has broken a bone, the most important things to do are to stay calm, make sure the person is comfortable, tell an adult or call 911. You should get help as soon as possible. There are some things that you should never do as well.

The worst thing for a broken bone is to move it this will hurt the person and it can make the injury worse! In the case of a broken arm or leg, a grown-up may be able to cushion or support the surrounding area with towels or pillows.

Broken bones are a fact of life. They do happen, but you can be prepared to minimize the pain. One super-important tip: If you're not sure what bone is broken or you think the neck or back is broken, do not try to move the injured person. Wait until a trained medical professional has arrived!


  • This is an example of an informational essay.

  • The hidden illness is run-ons.


The corrections are …

Broken Bone Blues

Crack! It hurts to break a bone! It's different for everyone, but the pain is often like the deep ache you get from a super bad stomachache or headache. Some people may experience sharper pain especially with an open fracture. If the fracture is small, a kid may not feel much pain at all. Sometimes, a kid won't even be able to tell that he or she broke a bone! Broken bones can be a shock to the body so here are some facts about what to do if you or someone you know breaks a bone.

Breaking a bone is a big shock to your whole body. It's normal for you to receive strong messages from parts of your body that aren't anywhere close to the fracture. You may feel dizzy, woozy, or chilly from the shock. A lot of people cry for a while. Some people pass out until their bodies have time to adjust to all the signals they're getting. And other people don't feel any pain right away because of the shock of the injury.

“Ouch, help me!” If you think you or someone else has broken a bone, the most important things to do are to stay calm, make sure the person is comfortable, tell an adult or call 911. You should get help as soon as possible. There are some things that you should never do as well.

The worst thing for a broken bone is to move it. This will hurt the person and it can make the injury worse! In the case of a broken arm or leg, a grown-up may be able to cushion or support the surrounding area with towels or pillows.

Broken bones are a fact of life. They do happen, but you can be prepared to minimize the pain. One super-important tip: If you're not sure what bone is broken or you think the neck or back is broken, do not try to move the injured person. Wait until a trained medical professional has arrived!

Sick Essay #4

My Bed, My Haven
Thump! My head hits the pillow as I fall into a blissful sleep. My bed is my haven when I am sick or tired. It makes me feel safe, comfortable, and sleepy.

Do you feel safe in your bed? When I am in my bed, I feel like nothing can go wrong the comforter hugs me and tells me that everything will be all right the pillows brush my awful, pounding headaches away when I am sick. My bed is an island of safety and warmth.

I can just feel the silky soft smoothness of the sheets. They comfort me and make the troubles of the day disappear. My bed is the most comfortable place in my house. When I lay down, I lose myself in its softness.

“Good night”! It is always a good night in my bed. Sleeping is a breeze in my haven. Even when I am sick, my bed easily takes me off to dreamland. My bed makes dreams possible.

Do you have a place in your house that makes you feel safe, comfortable, and sleepy? For me, it will be my beautiful bed.


  • This is an example of a personal narrative / descriptive essay.

  • The hidden illness is indentitus.


The corrections are …
My Bed, My Haven
Thump! My head hits the pillow as I fall into a blissful sleep. My bed is my haven when I am sick or tired. It makes me feel safe, comfortable, and sleepy.

Do you feel safe in your bed? When I am in my bed, I feel like nothing can go wrong. The comforter hugs me and tells me that everything will be all right. The pillows brush my awful, pounding headaches away when I am sick. My bed is an island of safety and warmth.



I can just feel the silky soft smoothness of the sheets. They comfort me and make the troubles of the day disappear. My bed is the most comfortable place in my house. When I lay down, I lose myself in its softness.

“Good night!” It is always a good night in my bed. Sleeping is a breeze in my haven. Even when I am sick, my bed easily takes me off to dreamland. My bed makes dreams possible.



Do you have a place in your house that makes you feel safe, comfortable, and sleepy? For me, it’s my beautiful bed.
Sick Essay #5

Pesky Colds

Have you ever had a cold. Most Americans experience many colds in their lifetime. Colds occur during certain seasons, can be affected by the weather, and there are ways to prevent colds.

In the United States, most colds, occur during the fall, and winter. Beginning in late August or early September, the incidence of colds increases slowly for a few weeks and remains high until March or April, when it declines. The seasonal variation may relate to the opening of schools and to cold weather, which prompt people to spend more time indoors and increase the chances that viruses will spread from person to person?

Seasonal changes in relative humidity also may affect how often you get colds. The most common cold-causing viruses survive better when humidity is low during the colder months of the year. Cold weather also may make the nasal passages' lining drier and more vulnerable to viral infection.

Hand-washing is the simplest and most effective way to keep from getting rhinovirus colds. Not, touching the nose or eyes is another. Individuals with colds should always sneeze or cough into a facial tissue, and promptly throw it away. If possible, one should avoid close, prolonged exposure to persons who have colds.

Most Americans get colds, but there are ways to understand and prevent them.




  • This is an example of an informational essay.

  • The hidden illness is punctuation.


The corrections are …

Pesky Colds

Have you ever had a cold? Most Americans experience many colds in their lifetime. Colds occur during certain seasons, can be affected by the weather, and there are ways to prevent colds.

In the United States, most colds, occur during the fall, and winter. Beginning in late August or early September, the incidence of colds increases slowly for a few weeks and remains high until March or April, when it declines. The seasonal variation may relate to the opening of schools and to cold weather, which prompt people to spend more time indoors and increase the chances that viruses will spread from person to person.

Seasonal changes in relative humidity also may affect how often you get colds. The most common cold-causing viruses survive better when humidity is low during the colder months of the year. Cold weather also may make the nasal passages' lining drier and more vulnerable to viral infection.

Hand-washing is the simplest and most effective way to keep from getting rhinovirus colds. Not, touching the nose or eyes is another. Individuals with colds should always sneeze or cough into a facial tissue, and promptly throw it away. If possible, one should avoid close, prolonged exposure to persons who have colds.

Most Americans get colds, but there are ways to understand and prevent them.


Sick Essay #6

Doug, the Dog Doctor
Woof, woof! That’s what most people hearing when a dog barks, but not Doctor Doug. From the time he was little, he could talk to animals. He understood them and they understood him. He always knew that he had to keep this talent a secret because most people did not believe that humans could understand dogs unless they were crazy. One time, he almost lost his job because someone caught him talking to his animal patients.

It is a cold morning in Ferretville. Doctor Doug was on his way to work. He was a vet in this town. Suddenly the clouds swooped in and the day got drearier. Doctor Doug could sense that something bad was going to happen.

He will waves hello to Mr. Snoops. Mr. Snoops was a bitter old man who owned the barber shop across the street. He was jealous of all of the business Doctor Doug had and of his success. Mr. Snoops thought to himself, “There has to be a reason why so many animals want to be treated by Doctor Doug, and I am going to find out!”

“Why this is a nice surprise!” Doctor Doug crooned when Mr. Snoops walked into the animal clinic. “What can I do for you?” he asked with a smile.

“Oh, I just wanted to see how things were going,” replied Mr. Snoops as he secretly hid a recording device under the examination table. He quickly left.

Doctor Doug talked to his animal patients all day as usual. When Mr. Snoops secretly took the recorder back and listened to it, he jumped for joy. “I finally got him!” he exclaimed.

The next day the sun was shining and the birds were singing their songs. This time when he will arrives to work, Doctor Doug saw men in white coats taking Mr. Snoops away.

“What’s going on?” Doctor Doug asked one of the men.

“This guy went to the police with a tape of animal noises claiming he knows someone who talks to animals. We think we need to send him away to be evaluated. Sometimes these old people come up with crazy ideas. Hopefully he’ll be back before you know it,” he replied.


  • This is an example of a narrative essay.

  • The hidden illness is tense.


The corrections are …
Doug, the Dog Doctor
Woof, woof! That’s what most people hear when a dog barks, but not Doctor Doug. From the time he was little, he could talk to animals. He understood them and they understood him. He always knew that he had to keep this talent a secret because most people did not believe that humans could understand dogs unless they were crazy. One time, he almost lost his job because someone caught him talking to his animal patients.

It was a cold morning in Ferretville. Doctor Doug was on his way to work. He was a vet in this town. Suddenly the clouds swooped in and the day got drearier. Doctor Doug could sense that something bad was going to happen.

He waved hello to Mr. Snoops. Mr. Snoops was a bitter old man who owned the barber shop across the street. He was jealous of all of the business Doctor Doug had and of his success. Mr. Snoops thought to himself, “There has to be a reason why so many animals want to be treated by Doctor Doug, and I am going to find out!”
“Why this is a nice surprise!” Doctor Doug crooned when Mr. Snoops walked into the animal clinic. “What can I do for you?” he asked with a smile.

“Oh, I just wanted to see how things were going,” replied Mr. Snoops as he secretly hid a recording device under the examination table. He quickly left.

Doctor Doug talked to his animal patients all day as usual. When Mr. Snoops secretly took the recorder back and listened to it, he jumped for joy. “I finally got him!” he exclaimed.

The next day the sun was shining and the birds were singing their songs. This time when he arrived to work, Doctor Doug saw men in white coats taking Mr. Snoops away.



“What’s going on?” Doctor Doug asked one of the men.

“This guy went to the police with a tape of animal noises claiming he knows someone who talks to animals. We think we need to send him away to be evaluated. Sometimes these old people come up with crazy ideas. Hopefully he’ll be back before you know it,” he replied.

Download 73.7 Kb.

Share with your friends:




The database is protected by copyright ©sckool.org 2022
send message

    Main page