Writing Successful College and Scholarship Essays presented for LMSA by Carol S. Klein, The Writing Center, Inc. adapted from http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement ©All rights reserved. The selection committee is looking for two different things: - Evidence of achievement not reflected in other parts of the application.
- HOW and WHY the events the student describes have shaped his/her attitude, focus, and most of all, intellectual vitality.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must be thoughtful and honest: - Written to express, not to impress—reveal not just the what, but also the why and how of your achievements, obstacles, goals, values.
- Don’t brag.
- Don’t suggest your goal for attending the college is money or status.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must be thoughtful and honest: - Which of the following is the better opening for a College Essay:
- There are three reasons ABC College should accept me: My classmates voted me “Most Likely to Succeed,” I was the valedictorian of my class, and I lettered in three sports.
- 2. Coaching at ABC Baseball Camp this summer, I helped hone 20 ten-year-old boys’ batting and pitching skills. The boys taught me a lot about sportsmanship, courage, and the importance of having a good sense of humor.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must deliver not breadth but depth: - Don’t write an essay that devotes each paragraph to a different topic.
- Deliver steak, not just sizzle—(Your statements must be supported by facts.)
- If essay describes you as a “top student,” your grades should prove this.
- If “interested in the environment,” your list of activities, hobbies, classes should prove this.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must follow the college’s instructions: - An essay is an essay—not a poem, short story, or drawing.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must “answer the mail”: - Answer the question(s) as posed—for example, were you asked to Describe? Summarize? Or to Evaluate? Discuss?
- Start with a strong, catchy title and introduction that stand out and interest the reader—your hook.
- Follow the conventions of good writing.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—Which of the following are recommended for successful essays? - 1. Complaining /whining to reveal that you are a real person
- 2. Conforming to the essay guidelines/requirements
- 3. Revealing your character and values through your examples
- 4. Talking matter-of-factly about your time in jail or your drug use to show that you have overcome adversity and are ready to move on
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
SELL—the essay must reveal you as: - Resilient—not complaining but explaining how you overcame an obstacle.
- Positive—a problem-solver.
- Confident—interested and committed; able to persevere in the face of adversity.
- Professional—no errors; evident that essay has been edited and proofread.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
How FRAME the essay? Follow this process: - Plan—Brainstorm and Gather Information
- Organize—Use Time-tested Template: Introduction, Body, Conclusion
- Write—Draft and Revise
- Edit—Edit and Proofread for Common Essay Errors; Elicit Feedback
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
FRAME—Organize the essay: For two pages, use the following three main sections: - An introductory paragraph that provides the essay’s controlling theme.
- Two to four body paragraphs that develop that theme through examples and detailed experiences that build upon each other.
- A conclusion that widens the lens and wraps up the essay without summarizing or repeating what has already been written.
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
FRAME—Plan the essay: Gather Information. Follow three steps. -
- STEP ONE. Address ONE of the following topics:
- An achievement that made me feel terrific
- Something I have struggled to overcome or change about myself or my life
- A “real drag” of an experience that I had to get past
- Someone’s act of strength or courage that affected me
- A lesson, class project, activity, or job that impacted my academic or career goals
- A time I blew it, failed, made bad choices, and how I got past it
- An event that helps to define me, in terms of my background
- STEP TWO. Address the following three questions in your essay:
- What were the key moments and details of the event?
- What did I learn from this event?
- What aspects of this event have stayed with me most?
- © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc.
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