Divine anubhavs


PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV



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PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • You can get the VCD Rashtrajagruti 1-2 to listen to GuruDev's message in 3 days of dharna. The first day when all this happened was not shot as ashram's camera were not there only the video clipping that could be got by starnews is included in CD. Lekin wo drishya jab bhi yaad aata hain, dil mein gussa aur peedha hoti hai ki GuruDev ko kya kya karna padta hain desh, samaj ke liye. Ratri mein GuruDev ne kaha ki unka aur sadhakon ka upwas vyarth nahin jayega, vyapak aakash mein chhoda gaya sankalp apna asar dikhayega. GuruDev ne bhavishyavani ki- Supreme Court mein case jate hi ShankaracharyaJi riha honge aur bad mein nishkalank sabit bhi honge aur hua bhi yahi, after failed attempts of bail in lower court and high court when ShankaracharyaJi's lawyers appealed in Supreme Court for his bail he was granted bail. Brahmavani satya hoti hi hain aur mera saubhagya tha ki mujhe wah dekhne aur sunne ka mauka mila. Next day all saints had organised a dharna at Gauri Krishna mandir near red fort, BapuJi went there, I couldn't go as I had my exam that day, after the exam I reached Patel Chowk directly where GuruDev was expected to arrive after Sant dharna at Lal Quila.
  • PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • BapuJi came there at around 4 or 5 pm. Today there were some arrangements, a vyasgaddhi was in place and BapuJi came there and gave satsang, that satsang and morning dharna is there in Rastrajagruti CD. That night was luckiest night of my life. Although I did something foolish and because of that  foolishness aisa prasad mila ki poocho mat. Yeh bhi waisi hi raat thi jaisi jab GuruDev ne mera hath pakda tha (I have already posted that anubhav previously). BapuJi was going back to ekantwas and one behan asked me to follow GuruDev, firstly I didn’t agree but later they somehow made me agree. at that time I had a bajaj chetak which was not in good shape and never used to run above 50 kmph, but that night I drove it so fast with 2 behans sitting behind me that it reached 90 kmph in the evening traffic of Delhi, from CP to ekant was (in outskirts of Delhi near Gurgaon) there were a few more bhai and behans on bikes and scooter. All the way I was reciting GuruDev's name and behan's behind me were reciting Mahamrityunjaya mantra. Ab jab chala itne khatarnak tarike se rahe the to darshan kahan hone the raste mein, bus sara dhyan to scooter pe tha, in a haste what I did, I didn’t realise that GuruDev was stuck in a jam and I sped so fast that I took a wrong turn and went in a wrong way. When I reached there I came to know that GuruDev had gone in his kutia, as we hadn't had anythng since morning we got something to eat.
  • PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • Just after that GuruDev came out, and asked who were the people following him and we all came forward with our heads down with shame, BapuJi pointed to my scooter and said- Kiska scooter hain"" mein hath jod kar khada tha GuruDev ke samne aur kaha -- GuruDev mera, Bapu bole --- Govind sua (pointed object used to break ice) la aur tyre phadh de, itne gandi tarah ye log chalate hain, hume dar lagta hain, hum nahin beth pate, then one bhai from ashram said to GuruDev-- GuruDev inhe itni raat ko repair karwane ko kuch nahin milega aur inhe rukne ka bahana mil jayega" phir GuruDev ne kaha -- rehne de Govind, lekin in sabka naam, pita ka naam aur gadi ka number note kar le. Agli baar follow me aayen to bina pooche hi tyre phadh dena, Hamari agya hai."" Ab Guru agya thi aur galti bhi hui thi, mujhe bahut hi glani mehsoos ho rahi thi, mein mann hi mann prarthna kar raha tha shamaprapti ke liye. Phir BapuJi ka krodh shant ho gaya (krodh karte hi kahan hain, karuna karte hain. Dikhte hain gussa karte hue lekin andar hamare liye kitna pyaar hota hai) Uske baad jo hua mere to bhagya hi khul gaye"
  • BapuJi asked all behans to stand behind and also other bhai’s to move behind, only we 5 bhai’s followed who were standing and GuruDev with us.
  • PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • GuruDev said in a very silent voice with poitning torch at each one of us for more than half hour. BapuJi said---" BETA, (yeh sunte hi, mere hriday mein itna anand hua ki poocho mat) mere GuruDev me mujhe itne intejar ke baad beta kaha tha, tumhe mein beta keh raha hoon, tumhari chinta hai mujhe, bete, tum achhe gharon se ho, aisa dubara mat karna"""" aur uske baad GuruDev hum 5 logon ko 1/2 ghante tak samjhate rahe, andar itna anand tha ki chhupate nahin chhup raha tha. Galti ki sharam to thi lekin khushi itni ke mere GuruDev ne mujhe beta kaha, Bapu jaise hi torch hatate mere chehre se ki khushi bahar aa jaati, Bapu ne bhi wo khushi bhamp li thi isliye aur mauj kara di, GuruDev humein samjhate rahe aur hum unke agya ko sweekar karne ka sankalp le liye, BapuJi ne kuch baatein bhi kahi jo sirf hamare liye thi isliye yahan nahin likh raha hoon. Uske baad GuruDev ne sabse baat ki, darshandiye aur Shankaracharya ji ke baare mein kuch aur bhi kaha and then went inside. That was the first time I had followed and BapuJi ne pehli hi galti par sudharne ka mauka de diya, mujhe paap se bacha liya.
  • Next morning we went to kutia for darshan and this we decided we won’t follow so we didn’t go for dharna . We kept waiting all day for GuruDev's return. At around 7 or 8 pm GuruDev came back from dharna, I was standing with 2 more bhai’s. BapuJi ne mere paas pahunch kar car rukwai aur bole-- kal wala hai na?"" maine kaha -- ji GuruDev"" BapuJi further said-- Aaj mauj hai na" maine kaha-- ji GuruDev"" phir GuruDev ne mujhe prasad diya aur gadi aage badai, main bhi aage gaya, BapuJi ne doosre logon ko darshan diya aur kutia mein chale gaye.
  • PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • Iske alava bhi GuruDev ne bich - bich mein darshan diye the aur ShankaracharyaJi k bare mein kaha tha- which i don’t remember as it is so I'm not writing here.
  • Bhaiyon mera stock khatam hone wala hai kuch dino  mein, meri prarthana hai ki apne-apne hridyon mein aap jo khajane mere Sai k darshanon ka chhupa ke baithe ho wo mujhe bhi dikha do. Please please please please please please please please please please . Hari Om
  • Manish
  • PATEL CHOWK DHARNA ANUBHAV
  • Hari Om
  • Yesterday I went to karol bagh ashram and met a behan I had known for long but never had I come to know the anubhav that she told me yesterday, as we were talking about our GuruDev's last visit to Delhi she told me about her anubhav in the year 2000. I couldn't listen to the complete anubhav as I had to go for a  seva but most of the part has been covered in this post. Her father was ticketing manager at the Delhi airport but some one had done some black magic or some kind  of toona-totka on her father and condition of her father had deteriorated a lot. He used to shout, had stopped eating and even drinking water, always kept lying on his bed and this continued for 8 long years. Her father's weight had come down to 10 (kg or gram unsure coz after repeatedly asking her she said it was gram not kg). She was working as a teacher at that time and as she had started earning at a very young age even when she was studying.
  • KAROL BAGH ASHRAM ANUBHAV
  • On 14 April 2000 GuruDev had come to Delhi and she got an opportunity to talk to GuruDev. She told GuruDev about her father's condition and GuruDev looked at her and said- Main samajhtha hoon, then GuruDev took her in his kutia and there GuruDev asked her a few things and GuruDev asked her Kamata kaun hai ghar mein? To which she replied GuruDev main hi kamati hoon. BapuJi asked - Tu kya karti hain? She said - GuruDev padati hoon school mein, GuruDev said- Achha adyapika hain. BapuJi then looked at the sky and two tears rolled down GuruDev's eyes, then after sometime GuruDev said- Tujhe tere pitaji milenge. Tu ab ja, then GuruDev at the same time called for mani kaka - sanchalak of Delhi ashram and asked him to call someone (I don’t know why while writing here I felt I should not write all the details so I'll edit some of the portions. Please forgive me for this) from Amdavad ashram and after two days that bhai from Amdavad reached that behan's place and checked her father. He tried all he could for 3 days and told her that " Yeh case bahut mushkil hain, mere bus ka nahin hain, GuruDev se baat karni hogi is bare mein". Hearing this she was about to faint but after 2 days on 21 April 2000 GuruDev was again in Delhi (it was happening in such a way that GuruDev had his programs in nearby areas so BapuJi was in Delhi after 7 days.)
  • KAROL BAGH ASHRAM ANUBHAV
  • When she went for darshans GuruDev saw her and called her and asked her - " Wo aaya tha na? kya kehta hai wo" she replied- GuruDev wo to kehte hain ki bhaut mushkil hain aur uske bus ke bahar hain". BapuJi called for that bhai and that bhai explained the complete case to GuruDev in Gujarati. BapuJi said to that behan - Tu unhe (her father) le aa. She said- Bapu wo nahin aayenge. Kuch aisa asar hai ki kisi bhi pavitra cheej ke nikat jaate hi wo chillana shuru kar dete hain. Bapu said- Tu ja to sahi. And on 28 April 2000 BapuJi was again back in Delhi and she asked her father - papa BapuJi ke pass chaloge and to her surprise her father replied- tere kehna par chalta hoon. When she reached ashram everyone was turned out as people were saying that as it's late night GuruDev won’t come out for darshans and everyone was asked to go home . Gates were closed but somehow it happened that she and her family remained behind and couldn’t go out. And then GuruDev came out with a torch in his hand. There was darkness all around as all lights were switched off. BapuJi saw her and she said- BapuJi papa bhi aaye hain. GuruDev looked at her father with the torch aimed at him. She said to GuruDev - Bapu aaj to aapne dekh liya, aaj kuch nahi hua to dubara aap ke paas pahunchna mushkil ho jayega. ( I couldn't stop smiling to that, GuruDev was talking to her almost every week and she was thinking like that) GuruDev looked at her and said "Hum sun rahe hain", phir GuruDev ne apne hathon se unke pitaji ko pani ka ek bada gilas pilaya aur apne hathon se kuch unke chehra par phenka. Didi ne mujhe bataya us samay sab log piche khade hue the aur unhone kuch bhayanka shabd sune. (after this I had to go so could not listen to complete anubhav) but now her father is healthy and comes to ashram regularly and gives his sevas. She also gives her seva in Delhi ashram dawakhana and her name is Geeta.
  • KAROL BAGH ASHRAM ANUBHAV
  • GuruDev ki kripa k kaise kaise anubhav sunne dekhne ko milte hain, maine kudh apni aankhon ke samne dekha tha Surat mein GuruDev ne vyaspith par bethe hue, kisi dushtatma ko kisi ke sharir se nikala tha. Ab vigyan isko mane ya na mane par lakhon log sakshi hain aisi ghatnaon ke. Yeh un vigyaniyon ki moodh mati hogi jo wo ise nahin mante ya iski sachhayi main shak karte hain.
  • Let me tell you my anubhav yesterday. How GuruDev saved my life. I was driving my bike and going to Delhi. I was driving but my mind was thinking of one of previous darshans where BapuJi got up from vyaspith and went into his kutia and said- hum niyam karne ja rahe hain, ab tum bhajan gavo- darshan do.. darshan do.. (aa daras dikha de GuruDev, tujhe tere lal bulate hain), tabhi hum aayenge. And I was just singing that bhajan while driving. As it was an open road I was driving at around 70 kmph, the car in front of me, I could not understand why applied the brakes and I suddenly realised that. I applied both my brakes and my bike got raised in air. It moved around 15 metres only on the front tyre and there were around 3 bikes and a car behind me coming at a very high speed. GuruDev ki aisi kripa hui ki na to meri bike ka balance bigda, na hi speed itni kum hui ki piche wali gadiyan mujhse takrate. After 3 or 4 seconds it became normal and then I realised what had happened and what could have happened had GuruDev not saved me.
  • mujhe garv na aur saharon ka,
  • bus tera sahara kafi hai.
  • Hari Om-Manish
  • KAROL BAGH ASHRAM ANUBHAV
  • Hari OM
  • Yesterday GuruDev came to Delhi, it was just a stopover. Earlier we thought GuruDev might stay here atleast for a night but then program in Amritsar was announced and it was just a 4 hour programme. Gussa to bahut aaya lekin kya karen, ab akele hum thode hi baithe hain unke liye. Hum sam unko bahut hain, un sam humko nahi.
  • sabke liye ek hi din mein tin tin jagah jane, apne sharir ko itna kast
  • dena,ab koi unhe kya samjhaye.
  • I reached ashram early in the morning as I was in jal seva. I didn’t have any plan to go to airport but one of my friends had got a new car and he wanted to get atleast BaapJi’s charan in his car, so we went to airport. He waited outside the arrival lounge with the car and I was in there waiting for GuruDeva and BaapJi to arrive, lekin Bapu se bada koi golibaaj bhi to nahin hain. Hum sab andar khade the Bapu k intejar mein lekin Bapu aur BaapJi to vip gate se hi nikal gaye and we didn’t come to know. We came to know when I asked one trollyman to keep all trolleys aside as BapuJi was about to arrive, he told me- BabaJi to gaye. We rushed outside and saw that the red light car which had come for GuruDev was still there and BapuJi had left in another car.
  • DELHI’S ANUBHAV
  • So I went to parking, took out my bike and left for ashram. On the way back on a red light I saw the red light car and people had sorrounded that car. I thought they might have mistaken that car as GuruDev's car as I myself had seen that car going empty. As the light turned green I moved and overtook that car and to my surprise BapuJi was in the car ahead of that red light car. I applied brakes so I dont overtake GuruDev's car even by mistake and kept driving behind that car. BaapJi was sitting behind GuruDev on the right side. As a lot of people were going to ashram, on the way BapuJi stopped his car and talked to a lot of people. I also wanted to try my luck so I took a shortcut and parked my bike at some way ahead. Lekin Bapu bhi kam maje thoda hi lete hain. When the car arrived near me Bapu didn’t even look at me and started talking to BaapJi behind. Maine bhi socha thik hai Bapu-dekh lenge aapko, kab tak najre phiraoge and came back to ashram. In ashram I went back to my seva, so didn’t listen to any satsang. Only what I heard was that BapuJi was telling SandipaniJi's katha of his Gurubhakti and how he got the ashirwad ki Bhagwan unka chela banega. and mantrajap ke 15 siddhiyan and after BapuJi got a few couples engaged and married BapuJi told the katha of Raja Janak, it was a new katha but I'm sorry I couldn't listen to it. BapuJi said that next poonam might be in Delhi, be it half day darshan. BaapJi was earlier saying that sadhaks from other part of country have a madhur irshya with Delhi people as almost every month or say twice a month BapuJi is coming to Delhi. BapuJi even said that Mumbai sadhaks told him that they feel like shifting to Delhi.
  • DELHI’S ANUBHAV
  • BapuJi went  in his kutia and people started leaving. I also thought of trying again so I went and stood on the way in a hope that is baar to Bapu dekh hi len. Everyone said that BapuJi will come from another route as there was jam on this route, everyone else went further even I also went but my heart was accepting that and it was saying tu yahin rah, unhe aana hoga to yahin se aayenge nahin to mat kar darshan. So I returned back to point where I was standing earlier. After about half an hour I saw BaapJi coming in a car. I said Hari Om to BaapJi, BaapJi was doing mala, BaapJi moved a bit forward, said Hari Om to me and started mala again. I was about to wear my sandals when one bhai from ashram said- Manish, Bapu ki gaadi peeche hain. I even forgot to remove my sandals. BapuJi came and went without even looking at me. Mujhe rona aa gaya ki mujhse kya galti ho gayi ki Bapu naraj hain. Jab kabhi bhi mein sonchta hoon ki BapuJi naaraj hain, mere dil me jaise GuruDev swayam keh rahe hoon- Tu Guru ke dil ko kya samjhta hain, Guru aise naaraj nahin hote. I returned back to ashram, finished my sevas and went back home lekin Bapu naaraj nahin hote to kya hum naraj nahin ho sakte unse, hum to rooth sakte hain unse, wo manane to aayenge hi na. Unko bhi pata hain ki unke siwa hamara koi nahin hain, to sambhal karne to aana hi padega, ab dekhte hain agli baar kya karte hain wo. Hari Om
  • Manish
  • DELHI’S ANUBHAV
  • Hari Om
  • Yesterday one anubhav was posted by someone from Haridwar where GuruDev gave prandan to a behan. Reading that I was reminded of an anubhav that was told to me by one of sadhaks. Her name is Rekha Sharma and she lives in maruti kunj, Gurgaon. I call her didi although her daughter is around my age. Sso didi told me this anubhav about her mother in Haridwar some years back, I don’t remember exact year. Sadhaks from maruti kunj had come to Haridwar on a bus. It was Poonam that day, they arrived early in the morning. At some place in Haridwar they took bath in Ganga maiya at some ghat. Bhai log at ghat for gents and maiyan at ghat for ladies. After Rekha didi's mother took a dip she came out and was drying her hair standing in a corner. Just a fraction of second had passed that she fell down going unconscious. All people rushed towards her and they noticed that she was standing on a recently burnt pyre that had cooled down but ashes were still there. When checked out and came to know that the place they were taking bath was the place where unidentified dead bodies were cremated. In the meanwhile Rekha didi's mother had expired. Her body went cool and her heartbeats stopped. All of them started praying to GuruDev. Rekha didi told me that he was praying to GuruDev that - Bapu meri ma aapke darshanon ke liye aaayi thi par bina darshan kiye hi aisa ho gaya... A few seconds had passed when Rekha didi's mother's body started shivering and with a sudden jerk in her body she opened her eyes. Later she told everyone that when she was drying her hair she felt some sort of energy in her body and what she remembers after that was she was standing in a queue where a lot of people were standing. That queue was so long that it's end could not be seen and BapuJi came and pulled her out of that queue holding her hand and that was the time when she opened her eyes.
  • GuruDev ki bhi kaisi kaisi lilayen hoti hain. Shri Aasaramayan mein aata hai
  • mrit gai diya jeevandana, tab se logo ne pehchana
  • Ek gai ko nahi mere Sai ne na jane kitne lakhon  logon ko jiwan diya hain. Kaisi kaisi musibtaon se Sai bachate hain, mujhe khudh Sai ne kitni baar accident hote hote bachaya hai. Ek baar to mere scooter ka aisa accident hua ki metal body poori kat gayi par na jane main kaise ek second pehle hi scooter se uchal ke door ja gira. When I took the scooter to mechanic for repair - he said " Bhai sahab itna buri tarah scooter ki body kati hain, jo betha hoga uski to tang katni hi thi" When I told him that I was driving and I just got one bruise in my leg when I fell down he was surprised and said" aapki kismat hain warna to aap gaye the “ Ab wo kya jane. Jiske sir par Shahenshahon ke Shahenshah ka hath ho, jiska baap Bhagwan ka bhi baap ho, uska koi kya bigad sakta hai. Mere sai ki aisi krupa hain...............kuch kaha bhi na jaye, chup raha bhi na jaye........
  • REKHA BEHAN ANUBHAV
  • While writing this anubhav I just remembered a bhajan which some child created when we went to Ghaziabad ashram some years back for a saraswatya mantra anushthan during navratras, aroud 150 children were there and in the night all of us used to dance a lot on that bhajan. Bhajan kya tah, bhaav the hum sab ke main to nachoon baja ke dhol, Bapu mere hai
  • main to gaun baja ke dhol ke Bapu mere hai.
  • mere hain bhai mere hain, mere hain bhai mere hain
  • And then all of us used to dance for hours fighting with each other ke BAPU MERE HAIN.
  • Ab jab Bapu ne us pal ki yaad dilai hain to aap sab ko bhi us anushtan ke anubhav likhonga. Aisi krupa hui thi GuruDev kee ki hum 150 bacchon par ki kya bataon .
  • If anyone wants to talk to Rekha didi to verify that anubhav I can provide you her contact info. you can mail me for that. Hari Om
  • Manish
  • REKHA BEHAN ANUBHAV
  • Hari Om
  • I was just listening to one of BaapJi's satsang. There BaapJi told this incident-Baapji was talking about poonam vratdhari sadhaks told this incident from the writings of Sant Shri AkhandanandJi Maharaj. AkhandanandJi and Oriya Baba were mitra saints, once while going through a road AkhandanandJi saw a man under the hot sun breaking stones, he was working  on a road building project. Sant Shri stopped his car and called that man and said, Maine tumhe pehchan liya, tum Oriya Baba ke ashram mein rehte ho, lekin tumhe yeh kaam karne ki kya jaroorat hai, kya tumhe paise chahiye? To which that man replied- Ji Maharaj, mujhe paise chahiye Sant Shri said- Lekin tum paison ka karoge kya? Man replied- Mere GuruDev ke darshan karne bahut log aate hain, lekin un logo ke liye peena ke pani ke liye koi bartan nahin hai, mere GuruDev ke darshan ke liye jo log aate hain wo bhagwatswarop hain, wo pyaase rahein, mujhe kast hota hai, mere GuruDev ke darshanon ke liye aaye hue un bhagwatswaroop mahapurushon ki kuch seva kar paon to meri mere Gurucharnon mein kuch seva ho jayegi.
  • KAISI GURU SEWA- KAISI GURU BHAKTI
  • Mein in paison se ek bartan khareedonga aur usme pani bharkar un bhakton ke liye rakhong taki darshanon ke liye aaye un bhakton ko pyaasa na rehna pade. Is katha ko kehte kehte BaapJi ki aankhon se aanson behne lage, Baapji GuruDev ki yaad mein pawan hone lage aur sabhi bhakton ko bhi mere Sai ki yaad mein pawan kar diya. Baapji further said-AkhandanandJi aage likhte hain apne pustak mein- Wo aadmi to mujhe pranam kar raha tha lekin mein mann hi mann use pranaam kar raha tha ki apne GuruDev ke darshanon ke liye aaye hue bhakton mein bhi bhagwatbhav karne wale bhakt, tujhe pranaam hain, tu dhanya hai, teri gurubhakti dhanya hai.
  • Sabhi mere Sai ki yaad mein pawan ho rahe the, Sai Amdavad mein the, unhe Kota aana tha lekin mausam kharab hone ki wajah se unki flight takeoff nahin kar pa rahi thi. Aur Kota mein sabhi bhakt GuruDev ko yaad kar  tap kar rahe the.
  • Baap ji further sang—
  • tumhi mere raam ho, tumhi mere shyam ho
  • tumhi meri jindagi, tum hi viram ho
  • and
  • Sadhkon ko mile aise sai,
  • jeevan mein khushi aa gayi hai
  • DO try to get that cd kota poonam 2 part Suresh BaapJi,
  • Hari Om
  • Manish
  • KAISI GURU SEWA- KAISI GURU BHAKTI
  • Hari Om This is one anubhav which I admire the most. Jo sachhai is bhai ne GuruDev ke samne rakhi hain vo vandniya hain, uski Gurucharnon mein nishtaa, useke prem, uski Gurubhakti aur uski sachhai ko naman hain. This was published in Lok Kalyan Setu around 1 year back edition: 67
  • Bhai's name: Kuldeep Kumar Yadav, Village Maghol
  • Jabardastpur, Janpad, Saharanpur (U.P)
  • In the words of that bhai himself.
  • Guru kinhi krupa aur badal dali meri jiwan disha
  • Main Indian Airforce main Airman hoon. Meri aayu 26 varsh hain, main aapko batata hoon ki kasie Pujya BapuJi ne mujh jaise pat ka bhi udhar kar diya. Bachpan se mujhe bahut lad-pyaar mila. Main sidha sadha aur padne mein tej ladka tha, phir mujhe chai peena ka shouk laga. Main rojana kam se kam 3 litre chai peeta raha aur ye silsila kai varsh paryant chala.
  • GURU KINHI KRIPA AUR BADAL DALI MERI JEEVAN DISHA
  • Uske baad main TV dekhne ka vyasni hua aur is ek aadat ne mere jiwan mein dheere dheere sari buraiyan la di. Main khana khai bagair to reh late tha par TV dekhe bina nahin, is bare mein meri kai baar jam ke pitai bhi hui magar koi asar nahin hua, parinamswarup kaam aur krodh ye do vikar mere jiwan mein poornarupen parilakshit hue. Baat baat mein chid jana avam naraj hona mera swabhav ho gaya. Maine bidi, cigarete pan aur daru ka bhi kafi sevan kia Main 16-17 saal ki umar main ek dedh botal sharab pe leta tha. Meat bhi kha leta tha, ande to khoob khata tha. Ek baar to ek sath 2.5 botal pe the aur mera bura haal ho gaya tha. 15 varsh ki umar mein hi main kami ho gaya tha aur dheere dheere yeh vikar itna bad gaya ki maine 30 ladkiyon ko girlfriend banaya, jinme se kaiyon ke sath kam vikar bhoga, hastmaithun aur 35 ladko ke sath bhi kamvikar bhoga, yeh silsila 1991 se 1998 tak chala. Isi beech main inter main fail ho gaya aur apne ghar padai ke liye aa gaya. Ghar par mujhe kaid jaisa lagne lagag kyunki meri aadte bigad chuki thi, ab mera mann padai main bilkul nahin lagta tha, phaltah mere jivan mein gussa aur bechani bad gayi. Gharwalon se aaye din mera jhagda hota hi tha. Baat yahan tak badi ki maine faisla kiya ki main atmahatya kar loon. Aisa kai baar mann mein pakka kiya lekin phir socha ki main to marunga hi magar gharwalon ko markar hi maronga aur bhi koi kuch kahega to use bhi maronga. Ladkiyon ke chakkar mein ladai jhagde hote hi rehte the, gharwale aur sabhi rishtedaar mujhe samjha samjha kar thak gaye the.
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