The black death killed many people in Europe during the mid-1300’s
Decay, suffering, death. This is what more than 100 million people had to look forward to in the mid-1300s.
Introduction
In this essay, I will be discussing the affects of media on the behaviour of teenagers.
Introduction
Remove the obvious transition “In this essay”
Remove the first person “I”
Spell/grammar check
Add a thesis statement and transition.
Introduction
In this essay, I will be discussing the effects of media on the behaviour of teenagers.
Mass media has had a profound effect on the manner in which teenagers of this generation behave. Research shows that adolescents can attribute the use of drugs and alcohol, bullying, and higher than average risk-taking, to what is presented in the media.
Body Paragraph
This is where your research should support your ideas…
Most students say that they are bullied by other students who play Grand Theft Auto.
Body Paragraph
Most students say that they are bullied by other students who play Grand Theft Auto.
Most students say that they are bullied by other students who play Grand Theft Auto.
Wonka found in his study that “over 20% of reported cases of bullying were caused by teens who play or played Grand Theft Auto” (2012).
OR
Most students say that they are bullied by other students who play Grand Theft Auto, which is no surprise, as “Grand Theft Auto has been shown to negatively impact behaviour in teens” (Wonka, 2012).
Synthesize your own thoughts with the two pieces of research.
Move on: concluding sentence.
Conclusion
In conclusion, research has shown that flushing your goldfish down the toilet does not result in bad Karma.
Conclusion
Restate some of your points.
Remove the informal first and second person.
Avoid the obvious.
Conclusion
In conclusion, research has shown that flushing your goldfish down the toilet does not result in bad Karma.
See what I did there? Left you thinking!! ------------------
One may worry whether it is unwise to flush a pet goldfish down the toilet. Karma particles are not reliant on individual actions but rather a holistic lifestyle. Through this revolutionary research, both Harry and Potter have demonstrated that one need not worry about loss of Karma when flushing a pet of any kind down the drain; so long as the pet in question will fit through the drain opening.