A model for Teaching Writing to Struggling Writers Examples



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A Model for Teaching Writing to

Struggling Writers

Examples

Anita L. Archer, Ph.D.
These examples are based on the program REWARDS Writing currently in development.


Example #1 Rubric for Descriptive Paragraph
No Yes

Not Evident Very evident



0 1 2 3 4

Fix-up Zone


Descriptive Paragraph


Critical Attribute

You

Teacher

(Organization)

1. The first sentence tells what is being described.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

2. All the other sentences tell more about what is being described

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

3. The length is adequate.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

(Sentences)

4. Complete sentences are used.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

5. The sentences begin with different words.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

6. The sentences vary in length.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

(Word choice)

7. Descriptive words are used.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

8. Overused words (e.g., nice, big, little) have been replaced with more precise or interesting words.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

(Content)

9. The description paints a clear and accurate picture of what is being described.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4

10. The description is easy for the reader to understand.

0 1 2 3 4

0 1 2 3 4


Example # 1 continued Descriptive Paragraph

It was dusk when we entered the tiny grocery store on the edge of the deserted road. The store was lit by a single bulb hanging near the entrance. The aisles in the store were narrow allowing only one shopper at a time. Ancient wooden shelves lining the aisles were cluttered with dust-covered cans and boxes. Yellowed labels on the cans held the secret of the store.




Example #2 Writing Frame for Emerging Writers

My favorite city is _______________. This city is located in the state of ________. I like this city because ________________


__________________________________. One of my favorite things to do in this city is

__________________________________.

Another activity that I enjoy in __________ is __________________________________

___________________________________.



Example #3 Writing Frame to Accommodate Emerging Writers
______________________(State)

___________________ is a very fascinating state. It is found in the _______________________ part of the United States. It is bordered by the following states: ________________, ____________________, _____________________, and _________________________.

___________________________ has a variety of land and water forms. In terms of landforms, this state has _____________,

__________________, _________________, and _____________.


The most dominant landform is its _________________________.

The largest lake in _____________________ is ______________.

______________________ also has a number of rivers including

______________________, ____________________, and

__________________________________.

___________________________ has a diverse economic base. One aspect of its economy is agriculture. Some of the crops grown in ________________ include ______________________,

__________________________, and ______________________.

Its most important crop is _______________________________.

Another aspect of this state’s economy is manufacturing. The following products are produced in _____________________:

________________________, ____________________________,

and ____________________________. ____________________ is the product most often associated with this state. If you visited this state and purchased either an agricultural or manufacturing product, you would probably buy __________________________.

There are many recreational opportunities in ____________.

First, there are a number of large state and federal parks. My favorite park is ___________________________. This park would be a great place to visit because _____________________
____________________________________________________.

These are some of the recreational activities you might enjoy in

_____________: ______________, ____________________,

____________________, and _________________________.

Of these, I would particularly enjoy _____________________.

One thing that this state is noted for is ______________

__________________________________________________.
This is noteworthy because ___________________________

__________________________________________________.

However, I thought the most interesting thing about this
state was _________________________________________.

Example #4 Writing frame for a story-problem explanation in math

In this problem, we were asked to figure out ________________


_____________________________________________________. Some information was already given including _______________

_____________________ and ____________________________.

When creating a plan to solve this problem, I decided to follow a number of steps. First, I _________________________________

_____________________________________________________.

Next, I _______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________.

Then, I _______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________.


Finally, I _____________________________________________.

After following these steps, I determined that answer to this problem was __________________________________________.

To check this answer I __________________________________

_____________________________________________________.

Based on my verification of the answer, I am quite certain that it is

accurate.



Example # 5 – Summarization - Narrative

____________________________ took place in/at _________________________________________.

The main character of this story was ________________.

His/her major problem was ________________________

_______________________________________________.

___________ tried to solve this problem by ___________

_______________________________________________.
In the end _______________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________.


Example 5 continued Summarization - Narrative
________________ title_________________was a narrative selection about __________________theme ______________. In this story, ___________name ________, a/an________

____________________________________, was the main character. Other critical characters included: ___name___,

_______________________________________________,

and _____name_________, _______________________________.

In this story, _______name_________________’s major problem/conflict/goal was ________________________________

_____________________________________________________.

First, ______name___________________ tried to resolve this problem/conflict/goal by ________________________________

____________________________________________________.

In the end, the following happened: _______________________
_____________________________________________________.

Example # 6 – Summarization – Expository
Viruses

Viruses have some characteristics of _________ things and ________________ things. In some cases, viruses are

_________________, but they can live and _____________.

To live and reproduce, viruses must invade a ____________

and use it. Viruses are NOT _____________ but have

genetic ____________________. Different viruses need

different ______________. The ___________ coat helps

the virus detect the right kind of host cell. In ____________,

the virus attaches to the outside of a host cell. In _________,

the virus injects genetic information into the host cell. During

_____________ and ____________, the host cell’s enzymes

obey the virus’s genetic instructions. During __________

new virus particles leave the _________________ in search of

new host cells.




Example # 7
- Writing Frame - Academic Language
(Compare and Contrast)

_______________ and __________________ are similar in a number of ways. First, they both _____________________

___________________________________________________.
Another critical similarity is ___________________________.
An equally important similarity is ________________________.
Finally, they ________________________________________.
The differences between ________________________ and _________________ are also obvious. The most important
difference is ________________________________________.
In addition, ___________ and _____________ are __________
___________________________________________________.
In the final analysis, ____________ differs from _____________

in two other major ways: 1)______________________________ and 2) ____________________________________________.


Example #8 continued (Using strategy to write a paragraph summary. This is taken from REWARDS PLUS)

Step 1. LIST (List the details that are important enough to include in your summary.)

Step 2. CROSS-OUT (Reread the details. Cross out any that you
decide not to include.)

Step 3. CONNECT (Connect any details that could go into one


sentence.)

Step 4. NUMBER (Number the details in a logical order.)

Step 5. WRITE (Write the paragraph.)

Step 6. EDIT (Revise and proofread your answer.)


Example # 8 continued
Greek Theater

  • began as a religious ceremony

1

  • honored the Greek god Dionysus



  • beliefs in Dionysus began to spread southward

  1. - choruses chanted lyrics



  2. - actors joined the choruses



- the Dionysus festival in Athens became a
drama competition
4

- amphitheaters were built

- performed tragedies that taught lessons
5

- performed comedies that made fun of life





  1. -declined when playwrights died and the government changed



Example #8 continued

The roots of modern theater can be found in early Greek theater. Greek theater began as a religious ceremony that honored the Greek god Dionysus. At first, choruses chanted lyrics. When actors were added to interact with the chorus, theater was born. Later, the Dionysus festival in Athens became a drama competition, and amphitheaters were built to accommodate the event. Both tragedies, which taught lessons, and comedies, which made fun of life, were performed. Greek theater declined when the great playwrights died and the government changed.




Rubric-

Summary

Student

Rating

Teacher

Rating

  1. Did the author state the topic and the main idea in the first sentence?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Did the author focus on the important details?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Did the author combine details in some of the sentences?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Is the summary easy to understand?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Did the author correctly spell words, particularly the words found in the article?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Did the author use correct capitalization, capitalizing the first word in the sentence and proper names of people, places, and things?

Yes Fix up

Yes No

  1. Did the author use punctuation including a period at the end of each sentence?

Yes Fix up

Yes No



Example #9




Compare/Contrast Think Sheet



Subject:

SAME Groups


Categories

St. Bernard


Newfoundland


Use


Rescue



Rescue




Height


Full grown males same

Full grown males


same



Type of Fur


Smooth dense that protects from cold


Smooth dense that protects from cold

























DIFFERENT Groups


Categories









Weight



155 – 170 pounds


140 – 150 pounds



Place of Origin



Swiss Alps



Newfoundland

Different


Clients



Climbers and skiers


People in Atlantic Ocean









Example #9continued
The Saint Bernard and the Newfoundland are the same in several ways. Both dogs are large rescue dogs. The full grown males are about the same height. Both dogs have smooth dense fur that protects them from the cold while they are rescuing people.

Although the two dogs are similar, they also have differences. The Saint Bernard is much heavier, weighing 155 to 170 pounds. The lighter Newfoundland weights 140 to 150 pounds. The dogs originated in different places, so the types of rescues they perform are different. The Saint Bernard originated in the Swiss Alps and rescues climbers and skiers from the snow. The Newfoundland rescues people form the Atlantic Ocean. Both dogs perform important services for mankind.
Reference

Stephanie Gray and Catharine Keech. Writing from Given Information: Classroom Research Study No. 3. 1980. Bay Area Writing Project. Berkeley, CA: University of California.

Example #9 continued - Compare/Contrast Think Sheet

Compare/Contrast Think Sheet



Subject:

SAME Groups


Categories






















































DIFFERENT Groups


Categories























































Example #10 – (Essay to Persuade)



Essay Rubric

Author Essay Topic



Question

Student or Partner Rating

Teacher Rating

INTRODUCTION


  1. Does the introduction tell the topic of the essay?

  2. Does the introduction state the author’s position on the topic?

  3. Does the introduction give two or more convincing reasons for the position?

  4. Does the introduction grab the reader’s attention?





Yes No
Yes No
Yes No

Yes No







Yes No
Yes No
Yes No



Yes No

BODY


  1. Does the body include at least three major reasons that support the author’s position?

  2. Does the author elaborate on and explain each of the major reasons using logical arguments, evidence and examples?

  3. Did the author acknowledge and respond to the opposing side’s view?

  4. Are the paragraphs well-organized and easy to understand?

  5. Are transition words and phrases used to connect ideas within and between paragraphs?



Yes No

Yes No




Yes No

Yes No



Yes No



Yes No

Yes No


Yes No

Yes No



Yes No

CONCLUSION

  1. Does the conclusion summarize the author’s position?


  2. Does the essay have a definite conclusion?



Yes No
Yes No




Yes No
Yes No



CONVENTIONS
11. Did the author correctly spell words?

  1. Did the author use correct capitalization?

  2. Did the author use correct punctuation?

Yes No



Yes No
Yes No


Yes No
Yes No



Yes No

CONTENT

  1. Did the essay hold the reader’s attention from beginning to end?

  2. Is the essay clear and easy to understand?

  3. Did the author stay focused on the same position throughout the paper?




Yes No
Yes No
Yes No



Yes No
Yes No
Yes No




Example #10 continued (Example - Essay to Persuade)
Prompt: In order to fight the rise of violence and use of drugs in schools, some faculties have implemented random searches of backpacks, book bags, lockers, and/or desks for weapons and drugs. Do you agree with these random searches or do you disagree? Write a letter to the faculty members at a school stating your opinion and justification for that opinion. Begin the letter with these words: Dear Faculty Members.
Dear Faculty Members,

I am worried about the new random search policies that have been implemented at many schools in our area. I understand the danger of illegal drugs and weapons on campus, but I am more afraid of the consequences that these searches will cause. I know these policies only come from a real concern for the safety and quality of our school campus, but I think that they will cause more problems than solutions. Random searches threaten personal privacy and erode a student’s trust in the faculty without solving the heart of the issue.

Random searches through a student’s book bag, locker, or desk are a clear invasion of personal privacy. Our desks, book bags, and lockers are essentially our home away from home. Thus, they contain very personal items that are part of our non-academic life such as diaries, notes from boy or girl friends, pictures from non-school events, cosmetics, and dental retainers. We had no intent that anyone would ever see or touch these items, but now a teacher or security guard is holding it up for all to see. Do you realize how embarrassing this would be to a shy, sensitive student? How would you like the principal going through your desk, purse, or car?

Not only do these searches overstep boundaries of a person’s private space, they break down valuable trust between students and teachers, the heart of that relationship. In order for a student to learn, they need to be comfortable with their teachers. If students are always worried about whether or not their teachers will look through their book bags or lockers, they will be too anxious to learn. School faculty will become intimidating figures that students don’t trust. Education is supposed to help students grow up, not bring them down and make them feel vulnerable. Random searches would dramatically change the environment of a school from academic to suspicious.

Finally, searches will not solve the problem on a permanent basis. There’s no doubt that widespread random searches will uncover some illegal weapons or drugs in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean that it is actually effective in the long run. Rather it will force offending students to be sneakier. Making more rules doesn’t get to the root of the problem, but makes problems become more concealed. If students have drugs, they will just find different places to hide them. Even though these search efforts are well intentioned, they do little to solve the problem of illegal drugs and weapons in the school and may actually punish the innocent. For example, what if a nail file is found in a girl’s locker and the security guards consider it a weapon? Would her future be jeopardized over a little manicure tool? What if a boy has Tylenol in his backpack because of a sprained ankle? These searches could punish the innocent while the guilty think of new and sneakier ways to hide their contraband.

Instead of random backpack searches, maybe schools could offer alternate solutions like counseling or advertising for anonymous help-lines. If students are using drugs or feel the need for weapons, they obviously need real help. Schools should point troubled kids to safe solutions instead of quick punishment. This way the students that aren’t doing anything wrong won’t be treated like criminals and schools can keep their focus on academics and education. © 2007 A. Archer & M. Gleason


Example # 10 continued (Completed Think Sheet)

Prepare

Topic: random searches Form:  letter __essay __other

Audience: faculty members Type of preparation:  think OR ___collect evidence

Purpose: Persuade __Pro Con Brainstorm and select convincing reasons.



Organize

Introduction

Position on Topic: I disagree with having random searches of desks, lockers, and backpacks.
Reason A. Reason B. Reason C.

Invades personal privacy Destroys trust between Doesn’t solve



students and faculty problem

Body A. Explain

Body B. Explain

Body C. Explain

1-desks, book bags,

1- not comfortable with teachers

1- bad students sneakier

lockers are students’





“home”




2- hide drugs in new



3– faculty intimidating

places

- contain personal items






-diaries

2 – students worried

3 – may punish innocent

-notes

about searches




2 -pictures




4 – example – nail file

-retainers

4 – feel vulnerable










5 – example - Tylenol




5 – changes school



- don’t want people to see

environment




3







- don’t want people to







touch
















4 - embarrassing







Conclusion

__Summarize __ Convince Suggest an Action



Think Sheet – Essay to persuade

Prepare

Topic: ______________________ Form: __ letter __essay __other

Audience: ___________________ Type of preparation: ___think OR __collect evidence

Purpose: Persuade __Pro __Con Brainstorm and select convincing reasons.



Organize

Introduction

Position on Topic: _____________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Reason A. Reason B. Reason C.

______________________ _______________________ _____________________

______________________ _______________________ _____________________


______________________ _______________________ ____________________


Body A. Explain

Body B. Explain

Body C. Explain


























































































































































Conclusion

__ Summarize __ Convince __ Suggest an Action



Example #11 – Think Sheet – Essay to Explain
Prepare

Topic: ______________________ Form: __ letter __essay __other

Audience: ___________________ Type of preparation: ___think OR ___collect evidence

Purpose: Explain/Report Brainstorm and select three or more

major reasons or points

Organize

Introduction

Position on Topic: ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Reason/Point A. Reason/Point B. Reason/Point C.

______________________ _______________________ ______________________

______________________ _______________________ ______________________


______________________ _______________________ ______________________


Body A. Supporting Details

Body B. Supporting Details

Body C. Supporting Details








































































































































Conclusion

__ Summarize __ Convince __ Suggest an Action



Example #11 continued - Essay to Explain
Thanksgiving – A Day of Gratitude
(Introduction)

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving for a number of reasons. First, Thanksgiving gives me an opportunity to visit and play with friends and family members. Of course, Thanksgiving is also a great day to enjoy a variety of wonderful foods. In addition, it is a chance to stop and express gratitude for the richness of our lives.
(Body)

First, Thanksgiving affords me the gift of gathering with friends and family members. Normally, I celebrate Thanksgiving on the Friday after the official holiday. Twenty-five to fifty people generally attend my Thanksgiving party. My guests include my sister and her family and an array of friends from across the country. We spend much of our time just visiting, but we also engage in numerous activities. For example, we entertain each other by telling a story, playing the piano or guitar, or singing a song. Guests who don’t want to perform make up the attentive audience. As a group, we also sing traditional Thanksgiving songs and hymns. After eating, we play games, go on a group stroll through the neighborhood, and continue our conversations.


Thanksgiving is not only an excellent time to enjoy friends and family members, it is also a wonderful time to EAT. You should see the buffet table at our Thanksgiving party. Of course, we have all the traditional foods: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. In addition, we always have a variety of vegetables and a Pacific Northwest specialty, salmon. The guests usually bring the desserts including pies, cakes, and cookies. My favorite Thanksgiving food may surprise you: bread covered with gravy. Late at night, once my guests have turned off their lights, I slip back to the kitchen for my private snack. I tear a piece of bread into small pieces, cover it with gravy, heat the mixture in the microwave, and sit down for the final feast.
But most importantly, I love Thanksgiving because I take time to reflect on my life and express gratitude for my abundance. Even as I prepare for Thanksgiving, I contemplate my many blessings. As I set the table, I remember many of my relatives: my mother who gave me the salt and pepper shakers, my grandmother who once cherished the pitcher with an autumn leaf design, my sister who brought me the blue serving dish for this party. As I prepare the food, I am reminded of all the gifts that I have in my life that others lack: joyful work, abundant food, the shelter of a house, and warm clothing. My final preparation activity, creating floral arrangements for each of the tables, always carries me into deep gratitude for the beauty of nature. And then my friends arrive and I experience the greatest blessings of my life.
(Conclusion)

As you can see Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. But it should also be your favorite for Thanksgiving is the only holiday that will never disappoint you. On Christmas, you may not get the gift you hoped for. On Valentine’s Day, you may not have a girl or boy friend. On the Fourth of July, the fireworks may be cancelled due to dry conditions. However, on Thanksgiving, you expected turkey and you got it!


Example # 12 - Short Story

Think Sheet – Story





(7) Title




(3) Setting







(1) Main Character(s)




(2) Problem







(4) Beginning










(5) Middle






















(6) End





Example # 13 - Personal Narrative Think Sheet
Autobiographical Incident

Think Sheet





  1. Title




  1. Incident




  1. Setting


(4) Events in order



































































  1. Lesson learned





Autobiographical Incident

Think Sheet



(5) Title Give Heart




  1. Incident Fifth grade with Mrs. Finkle -- Heart pin


(3) Settings Mountain View Elementary School


(4) Events

1. Arrive at Mountain View.

2. Difficulty adapting to new fifth grade class.

3. Decided to be silent.

4. Mrs. Finkle was kind and caring.

Talked to me.

Patted my back.

Smiled at me.

5. Class got better.

Made friends.

Participated in class.

6. Mrs. Finkle caught heart pin in hairnet.

7. Helped Mrs. Finkle remove pin.

8. She gave me the pin and told me to “give heart”as a teacher.

9. Today I wear on Valentine’s Day.

10. Wear hearts every day … and try to “give heart”.
















  1. Lesson learned

Give heart to all people. Show love and care.

Give Heart
Being a teacher was not even a consideration at the time, but Mrs. Finkle, my fifth grade teacher, taught me my first lesson about teaching. Even now, it is the lesson that I try to practice every day.
Mountain View was the second school of my fifth grade, the eighth school of my short school career. After so many moves, the prospect of making new friends, of learning about a new teacher, of once again learning the classroom routines, brought me to total silence. For an outgoing person, silence was a new experience. I just didn’t want to try again.
However, Mrs. Finkle was not about to lose my mind or soul. I will never forget the little things she did each day to reach out to the silent one: talking with me as we lined up for music, patting my back as I worked on math problems, quietly praising my efforts, writing comments on my papers. Best of all, when I was reading or working, I would look up and there would be her smile…greeting me, making me feel safe.
Gradually, the scary life of fifth grade in a new school began to fade. I did make friends. I did begin to talk in class. I began to write long stories and to read them to my class. All of this occurred because of the love and care shared by Mrs. Finkle.
And one day, she shared a symbol of that love. It was right before recess and most of the kids were already out the door. Mrs. Finkle and I were both at the cloakroom pulling on hats, gloves, and coats as protection against the February cold. As she put on her coat, Mrs. Finkle caught her hairnet on her red heart pin that always rested on her collar. After struggling for a moment, she beckoned, “Anita , would you help me.” Soon I had separated the heart pin from her hairnet. However, instead of replacing the pin, she handed it to me and gently directed, “You take it. You will be a teacher someday. Remember to give heart…always.”
Forty years later, I wear that heart each Valentine’s Day. But everyday, I wear at least one heart and try to remember her message as I teach. “Give heart.” Thanks, Mrs. Finkle.




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