A critical Analysis of Vancouver hockey riot is a symptom of a larger problem by Adrian Mack and Miranda Nelson

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A Critical Analysis of “Vancouver hockey riot is a symptom of a larger problem by Adrian Mack and Miranda Nelson, Georgia Straight June 16, 2011

By Jenny Kim<<<<<< This is not an appropriate title for the essay

Writing for an audience of Vancouver citizens, Adrian Mack and Miranda Nelson portrays the problem why the riot of how the riot happened after a hockey game in Vancouver. then outlines the causes of the riots. The authors then describe what can be the solution to this situation. The authors They reveal that it is not to blame on young hooligans, but the instability of the future and the turbulence of the society. Try not to be so repetitive in say the authors, that gets boring.

Although the authors’ critique is effective, there are somewhat fanciful structures. In authors’ opinion, They define many of causes with the riot. First, they point out that the causes, are “faculty parenting, idiocy of city politicians, Trans link, and the provincial order to close downtown liquor stores at 4p.m.” which is related to the society. Next, the essay examines the generation that made the culture ruined. the authors mention that the people becoming borderline psychotic, they we’re rude, we’re snotty, and we don’t didn’t talk or engage with each other. People are aggressive when their team has lost the game. When one team loses the rooters of that team get aggressive. However, people are not always rude, or snotty, and don’t talk or engage with each other. They can be polite, respectful, and engaged. The authors are having bias at this point.

On the matter of credibility, the authors sometimes fail to convey the connection between first and second paragraph. The second paragraph in the essay discusses about the sick culture regarding generation while the first paragraph discusses about the causes related to the society. These two paragraphs don’t seem right with the flow. Both paragraphs are talking about different topics. In addition, the authors could have could have fixed the essay by doing the following steps. Authors could have thought about the situation of how young hooligans could have caused the hockey riot. But they only concentrated on the social system. They authors only gave the definition and the example of sick culture and had an inductive fallacy.

Also, there is no evidence that can be defined as stupid generation. We do not know which generation caused the riot. It might be true that Generation Y who is are teenagers is in crises. The authors wrote “It’s a depressing, empty place where they can’t get decent-paying jobs or ever have a hope of owning property.” They're not people paying student debts or rent or struggling over a lack of job prospects. They aren't suffering the daily grind of a menial job or trying to feed their kids. They're sitting through five hours of school each day and going to the movies on Friday nights and complaining about their parents. They live in a society that no longer encourages or appreciates hard work. They've been brought up to think life should always be easy and that one should not have to work towards their goals, because mom and dad "worked too hard" for too little. They aren't angry, they aren't suppressed or oppressed, and they’re just bored and boring and get off on the thrill of it all. They'll sit and watch their city burn with little regard for themselves or others. Also they can post some grainy pictures on Facebook because outside of that blue and white realm they have no purpose or worthwhile interaction with other people or life. Hence, the authors simply concluded without giving any information.

Unfortunately, there is some missing information in the essay. The authors did not mention about the team who lost in the game. This leads to the overconcentration of the economy. Then, they mentioned about the peak oil but they did not even specify what the problem with the peak oil. The authors started to mention about the disadvantage of the market regarding socio-economic superstructure. They wrote “the market plunders the public coffers and starving the arts and education, producing a society that is spiritually malnourished but not sensitive enough to ask why.” In the sixth paragraph, the essay started to mention about capitalistic appropriation related to the advertising. The essay argues that “the way advertising has always worked: make people insecure about a fictional problems, and then sell them the fix.” by taking people’s interest away regardless of hockey game. <<< That doesn’t go unless it was a part of the quote.

However, there are some effective points what the authors made. “We should remember and praise those who were there, and who resisted, and who did the right thing. There’s a powerful clip on YouTube… of two men-one in a Canucks jersey, one not-trying to prevent assholes from smashing out the windows of the Bay downtown.” <<< That part of the quote was unneeded. Even though they mentioned two people, the way the authors wrote seems like the remaining people are considered as hooligans. This seems very awkward.

Despite some misleading statements and exaggerated claims, Adrian Mack and Miranda Nelson succeed in forming a strong argument on how people lose their mentality by institutions and society through the advertising. The authors states that where “Society as a whole ensured that it was the only outcome, starting with the assumption that our over-amped if not war-like passion for something as inconsequential as a hockey game is appropriate to begin with, let alone officially sanctioned. Can be bored, distracted, disassociated, and quietly despairing Lower Mainlanders marinated in the hegemony of cheap sensation, and governed by institutions to art, truth, and beauty.” It is practically impossible to disagree with the authors since these seem to be true in everyday life. People are easy to get attracted by advertisement through magazine, newspapers, television, internet, etc. because advertisements are usually used with simple and fancy words to make the people’s thoughts change, also people think that everything what they see in the advertisement is always right.

Similarly, Authors wrote “last night’s violence was inexcusable and the offenders should be prosecuted, but the slope towards becoming a Big Brother-like society where we tattle on our neighbors is already slippery enough.” which The authors made the wrong decision for misinterpreting the responsibility of the violence leading to the society. In other words, the authors criticized the mentality of accusing in democracy country.

Unfortunately, Mack and Nelson’s proposal to fix the problem is not accurate and uncertain. The authors wrote “The symptoms are clearly manifesting” which means that we know that there exists a problem. But then, the authors wrote “perhaps the first step towards solving this systemic problem is to acknowledge the fact that there is actually something wrong with us.” saying that acknowledging is the way to solve the problem. However, this is not really effective because the authors did not specify in what essence we should regard. Only regarding is not a good solution to the problem. There should be an in-depth answer.

In conclusion, although one of the causes of the most current riot could have been social and socio-economic situation, the most important factor is not only looking at the people who have an immature citizenship and who could not accept the loss of the match but also fostering the citizenship. <<< fix this sentence

Try to avoid repeating yourself so many times that gets boring. And avoid the word THAT, if you don’t have to use it don’t it only makes you sound more educated.  Make sure your quotes are direct and cite everything. I think that’s it 

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