|University graduates have an edge over people who did not continue their education after school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In my opinion, University graduates have an edge over not only people who did not continue their education after school, but they are also very likely to have an advantage over those, who have finished college.
The essence of difference between university and lower types of education is that higher education gives a more wide range of knowledges. People who have finished just a school also have a basic level in wide range of subjects, but this level is very low and can hardly be used for some serious job, that requires some defined qualification. Thus, it is quite obvious that those, who get some more useful knowledge would have an edge over school graduates. Some former pupils, that continue their education in college, get some knowledge, that can be applied in the real world, but this knowledge is quite narrow, and looks like a disadvantage in comparison with university education.
First of all, this limitation of knowledge implies that graduates receive just a craft, that in my opinion, often gives an opportunity mostly for the blue-collar jobs, that implies a routine and defined work. Changes in technologies and some others reasons may lead to the inevitable need to change the job and in this case college students will face the fact necessity of their reeducation. People who have a wide range of knowledge’s also have to receive new knowledge, but they do not need to study a lot again. Secondly, wideness of university knowledge is essential for the career growth and graduates from the university are much more likely to get top positions, of course if it were not for the corruption. Finally, education in University seems to be more difficult ant intensive then those in colleges. That makes University graduate more trained and prepared for the jobs that requires concentration.
All the reasons, given above, underline that people who, have got their higher education, tends to be more prepared for solving the wide range of problems, they have more chances for the career and, what is much more important, they have a more stable position, as they don’t need to reeducate
themselves in the world of changing demands and technologies.
The introduction is copied from the task. It should include at least two sentences.
Wrong controlling idea in your second paragraph. University degree increases the variety of jobs one can choose from. Every time you start a new paragraph keep in mind the topic: having a degree is beneficial because… then you develop the idea by providing explanation.
Structure: the third paragraph presents three different independent arguments and therefore must be divided into three. Be careful with stating your controlling ideas. Keep them short and precise. E.g.: higher flexibility in the job market.
Concluding paragraph doesn’t restate your opinion.
Language variety: your essay is highly repetitive, try to choose different words or grammatical linkers to avoid that.
Try not to exceed the required volume by more than 20-30 words. You’ll have only an hour to write an essay at the exam.
In my opinion, University graduates are in a better position not only in comparison with people who did not continue their education after school, but they are also very likely to have an advantage over those, who have finished college.
First of all, higher education increases the variety of jobs one can choose from. People who finished school have a basic level in a wide range of subjects, but this level is very low and can hardly be sufficient for some serious job that requires some definite qualification. Some former pupils that continue their education in college get some additional knowledge that can be applied in the real world, but this cognizance is quite limited that make university degree more beneficial.
Secondly, college graduates have limited skills that may become irrelevant in the future. Changes in technologies and some others reasons may lead to the inevitable need to change current job and in this case college students will need to reeducate themselves. Of course, everyone has to educate throughout their live, but university graduates has to do it comparatively rare, since their competence is quite broad.
Finally, graduates from the university are much more likely to get top positions. This can also be attributed to the wideness of university knowledge, which is essential for the career growth.
To sum up, people with university degree can choose different jobs; they do not need reeducation to change their occupation as much as college students do. Moreover, those who have higher education are more likely to get top position. This leads to the fact that university alumni are in advantages position in comparison with school and college graduates.
Break your introduction into two sentences. First, introduce the topic, and then express opinion. E.g. There is an opinion that….. I quite agree with it for several reasons.
The second supporting idea (about vocational training) in the first body paragraph is weak.
Your second argument is very doubtful.
The last argument is not developed well enough.
No restatement of your opinion in the concluding paragraph.
Task response: the topic of your essay is higher education, but you mainly speak about school leavers and people with vocational training. The last are actually not even mentioned in the task (people who did not continue their education after school)!
Repetitive structures and words