If I change “ability to love” to “loving nature,” it is closer, but “loving is an adjective. What adjectives can I use to describe “vocabulary” and “athleticism” so this is parallel? Mini-brainstorm time.
And the thesis statement is: What makes me admire Drew the most is his bountiful vocabulary, his agile athleticism, and his loving nature.
Now it’s parallel.
Organizing the Essay Around the Thesis
Write an outline
Choose examples that prove the parts of the thesis
My Draft: The Introduction Using a Quotation as a Hook
While each of us has been a child, in reality, we do not often recall the joys and amazement of childhood. One of the greatest joys of childhood is realizing one’s own uniqueness. As author Pablo Casals said, “The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.” So, how is my grandson Drew unique? What makes him so special to me? What makes me admire Drew the most is his bountiful vocabulary, his agile athleticism, and his loving nature.
My Draft: Proving the Thesis Statement
Watching any child develop a vocabulary is always fun, but Drew’s vocabulary amazes me. Drew is only three years old, but he uses words that are mature. For example, last week Drew went to the grocery store. While he was there, a woman banged into the cart and then just kept going. In response, Drew shook his head and said, “Oblivious.” I was shocked when he used such a word, and I was even more surprised when he used the word correctly. Again last night, Drew proved his vocabulary. He was watching Are You Being Served? on television.This British comedy uses coloquialisms from England and presents a dry sense of humor. Drew started laughing at the show and exclaimed, “This is so funny. It really cracks me up!”
Revising and Editing My Draft– Adding Words for Clarity and Checking Grammar
Watching any child develop a vocabulary is always fun, but Drew’s robust vocabulary continues to amaze me. Drew is only three years old, but he uses words that are mature. For example, last week Drew went to the grocery store with his mother. Shop Rite just took over another store, so there were crowds of people swarming the aisles. While Drew and his mother were there, a stout, frazzled woman banged into the cart and then just kept going. In response, Drew shook his little head and muttered, “Oblivious.” I was shocked that he had used such an adult word, and I was even more surprised that he used the word correctly. Again last night, Drew proved his adult vocabulary skills. He was watching Are You Being Served? on television with his family.This British comedy uses colloquialisms from England and also uses a dry sense of humor that plays on the meanings of words. When Mr. Rumbold, the supervisor said, “How am I going to get down?” and Mrs. Spooner answered, “Jump off the parapet and flap your ears,” Drew started laughing and exclaimed, “This is so funny. It really cracks me up!” He understood that a parapet meant the ledge by the window and flapping ears meant trying to fly like a bird.
Paragraphs 3 and 4
Complete them just as paragraph 2 was completed.
Make sure to add words so the reader can see and hear the scenes.
Make sure to stay focused on the dominant impression you feel.
Add adjectives, adverbs, and verbs to paint the pictures you see in your own head.
Go back and revise and edit the paragraphs for clarity, detail, and grammar.
There are many different ways to write an effective conclusion.
Every good conclusion will reflect on the hook in the introduction.
Every good conclusion will restate the thesis statement in a creative way.
Many good conclusions will comment about the future.
Is This Conclusion Effective?
Yes, my grandson Drew is amazing. He has a huge vocabulary that he uses all the time. He also is an athlete. Finally, he is a loving child.
Revising and Editing the Weak Conclusion
My grandson Drew continues to impress and amaze me. Just as, according to Casals, every child knows there will never be another child like him, I know that Drew is irreplaceable.His wonderful word knowledge, fabulous dexterity, and profound caring demonstrate how special he is.What does the future hold for Drew? If he continues along the path he has chosen, I am sure that he will only continue to impress and amaze me more and more in the future.
Reviewing Some Important Steps In Putting a Picture Into Words – A Descriptive Essay
Use descriptive words, such as verbs, adverbs, and adjectives.
Make sure to prewrite.
Use an outline to stay organized.
Use words that allow the reader to use his/her senses.
Revise and edit to add clarity, depth, and correctness to your writing.