Selling Wal-Mart



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Class 24: Intro to the last major essay: the Research Paper

Quiz : “Selling Wal-Mart” (72-86)

1) Describe two things that Walmart has done with marketing to try to improve its image?


  1. Process Papers returned (today = last late day at -20pts)



II. Discuss the portfolio rewrite factor:
Choose lowest scoring from among narrative, compare/contrast, or process essay …then rewrite to portfolio quality (A grade) and submit on last days of active classes (see Calendar). If all corrections lead to an A on the portfolio version draft, then NO PENALTIES (note: original grade remains same).

Portfolio rewrite penalties: If rewritten to a B = -20pts from points tally; if rewritten to a C= -50pts; rewritten to If all essay assignments are A grade, then student is exempt from this requirement!]


  1. And now…the research paper (200 pts)


Discuss: Research paper handout vs extra credit option


IV.THESIS

Thesis: your paper’s topic, as a sentence. NEVER A QUESTION if your thesis is an argumentative thesis.
WHAT IS AN ArgumentativeTHESIS? A single sentence summary of an argument you are going to make or point of view you are going to take.
1)NOT A QUESTION / DOES NOT END IN QUESTION MARK.

BAD: Could drinking tap water in former Arizona industrial lands increase risk of cancer?

BETTER:Drinking tap water from former Arizona industrial lands will increase risk of cancer.
2)SOMEONE CAN DISAGREE WITH YOU/ TAKE THE OPPOSITE SIDE, otherwise it’s not argumentative.

BAD: Plastic Surgery in teenagers.

BETTER:Plastic surgery in teenagers is a growing trend caused by peer and media image pressure
BAD: Preparing a car to win a street race.

BETTER:Chip modification is the most important way to prepare a car for a street race.


BAD: Misdiagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder

BETTER: Misdiagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder is leading to overmedication of school age children.


3)NARROWED TO MATCH AUDIENCE (See narrowing lesson)
4) TAKES A SIDE FIRMLY, NOT JUST uses weak words like “possibly, sometimes, might, could, etc”

BAD: Video games might increase violence in pre-teens.

BETTER: Video games increase violence in pre-teens.
BAD: Sometimes it is possible to use supplements to win bodybuilding contests.

BETTER: Supplements are now a necessity in order to win bodybuilding contests.


5) BE CAREFUL in choosing the words of your THESIS: EVERYTHING YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO COVER IN YOUR APPROVED THESIS, MUST BE COVERED IN YOUR PAPER.
For example: If your approved thesis is:

Grappling is the most effective mixed martial arts technique in Ultimate Fighting competitions

THEN….

You must compare it to all other major techniques, and discuss it for defense, offense and counter moves….
MORE SPECIFIC means less to cover: Grappling is the most effective mixed martial arts technique for dealing with reach-based attack styles in Ultimate Fighting competitions
If you can't find any possible opposite/opposing point of view to your argument, you probably don't have a thesis in argumentative form.


EXAMPLES:
1)WRONG: Effects of nerve gas on soldiers who survive chemical attacks

OK but weak: Nerve gas has negative effects on soldiers who survive chemical attacks

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM: Nerve gas exposure continues to harm the health of survivors long after the attack
2)WRONG: Problems in treating Alzheimers’ patients

OK but weak: There are problems in treating Alzheimers’ patients

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM: Alzheimers victims in nursing homes face more severe problems than those who receive home care.

3)WRONG: Robots and the car industry in the United States

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM: ????
4) WRONG: Gambling and corruption at the Wild Horse Pass Casino

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM: ????




V
.TPEOEO

WHAT does an argumentative paragraph look like?

*Each content paragraph in an argumentative paper is TPEO or TPEOEO or TPEOEOEO
Topic Sentence: one sentence in EACH paragraph – what the paragraph is about or paper’s subtopic – in an argumentative paper: a specific argument under paper’s thesis.
Point: In your own words, how the topic sentence/subtopic/this paragraph is important to, argues for the paper’s thesis. ‘Point’ is necessary in paragraph to prevent lack of clarity or misinterpretation by audience different POV
Evidence or Example: one of TWO quotes or paraphrased details and expert knowledge from an outside source that supports your paragraph’s topic sentences. ALWAYS with a citation
Optional explanation of Evidence: in your own words, commentary or how the evidence you quoted is important or supports your topic sentence and/or your paper thesis. Not always required if your evidence (quote) is straightforward.

SAMPLE PARAGRAPH SHOWING EACH PART AND ESPECIAL THE ‘E” of evidence/expert knowledge


Thesis: Adopting the aluminum bat instead of the wood bat in amateur baseball fundamentally changes the game.
YELLOW: T BLUE: P grey =E(vidence/xpert knowledge)

green: Optional comment
Safety issues on the playing field increase immensely when aluminum bats are present. In any competitive sport, no one wants anyone to get hurt. Unfortunately aluminum bats increase the risk in baseball. Teams across the country are beginning to return to the traditional wood bat; one of those teams is the Wellesley Raiders. Eric Winer, president of the Wellesley American Little League, said in the July issue of Greater Boston Magazine, “We had an incident last year…when one of our top pitchers, Billy Hughto, got struck by a line drive of a metal batted ball and was out for the season” (22). This incident easily helped Eric Winer make the decision to switch from aluminum to wood. Winer was not alone in making the safety choice: “The Millburn Mullvers tried aluminum bats, but quickly switched back after a line drive broke the hand of the first baseman despite gloves. This kind of line drive with wood bats had never led to an injury” (“Millburn Mullvers website”).


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