This was a very sad day. I got up very early &after finishing my prayers discovered that it yet wanted an hour or so to day break. So I lay down and was aroused for Kakad Arti by Bapusaheb Jog. Dixit Kaka told me that Megha died about 4 a.m. The Kakad Arti was done but Sayin Maharaj did not show his face clear & did not appear to open his eyes. He never threw any glances spreading grace. After we returned arrangements were made for the cremation of Megha ’s body. Sayin Baba came just as the body was being brought out and loudly lamented his death. His voice was so touching that brought tears to every eye. He followed the body up to the bend in the made road near the village & then went his usual way. Megha ’s body was taken under the Bada tree & consigned to flames there. Sayin Baba could be distinctly heard lamenting his death even at that distance & he was seen waving his hands & swaying as if in arti to say goodbye. There was a good supply of dry fuel & flames soon rose very high. Dixit Kaka, myself Bapusaheb Jog, Upasani, Dada Kelkar & all else here were there & praised the lot of Megha that his body was seen & touched by Sayin Baba on the head heart & shoulders & feet by him. After finishing the ceremonies we ought to have sat praying but Bapusaheb Jog came & I sat talking with him. When later I went to see Sayin Baba, he asked me how I spent the afternoon I was very sorry to confess that I had wasted it in talking. This was a lesson to me. I remembered how Sayin Baba foretold his death three days ago “This is the last arti of Megha,” how Megha felt that he had completed his service and was passing away, how he shed tears to think that he could not see Sathé whom he regarded as his Guru, and how he directed that the cows of Sayin Baba should be let loose. He never expressed any other wish. We all admired his life of extreme devotion & I was sorry that I did not rest in prayer but listened to meaningless talk. Bhishma & my son Balvant are not well. So there was no Bhajan. Dixit Kaka read Ramayan at night. Gupte his brother &their families left this morning for Bombay.
1912 20 January Saturday
Shiradi In the morning I got up in time to say my prayers before day break and commence the routine of life here to suit every body else. The day promised to be pleasant & so it turned out. I read Paramamrit with Bapusaheb Jog Upasani & Ram Maruti. Bhishma & my son Balvant are unwell. We saw Sayin Maharaj go out & again after he returned. He sat chatting pleasantly. Presently a Jahagirdar of a village somewhere here about, came & Sayin Baba would not let him approach much less worship. Many people interceded for him in vain. Appa Kotya came & did his utmost to secure at least the usual kind of Puja for the Jahagirdar & Sayin Baba relented so far as to let him enter the Masjid and worship the pillar near the fire-place, but he would not give Udi. I thought Sayin Baba would get angry but he did not and our mid-day Arti passed off in the usual way. Bapusaheb Jog has been ordered by Sayin Baba to do all the artis at all times. I predicted this result two days before Megha passed off. After the midday meal I sat reading the newspapers.
Dixit ’s younger brother who practices at Khandwa came this morning & his Bombay agent came in the afternoon. Dixit ’s brother tried to induce Dixit to return to work in vain. He applied to Sayin Baba, but Sayin Baba left the whole matter to Dixit himself. Bapusaheb Jog has also got four guests. The husband of his wife ’s sister who is the chief Treasury officer at Sangli has come here with his whole family on his way back from the Delhi Darbar His wife wished to take Mrs Bapusaheb Jog with her but Sayin Maharaj would not permit it. We saw Sayin Saheb as he came out for his evening stroll. Then there was the Wada Arti & later on the Shej Arti. Dixit read Ramayan as usual. There was no Bhajan as Bhishma is indisposed & my son Balvant is slightly worse. There is here Mr Moreshwar Janardas Patharé with his wife. He is the victim of paralysis & have suffered much. Joshi of Wasai has come & brought some printed copies of the prayers sung here.
1912 21 January Sunday
Shiradi I got up & attended the Kakad Arti. There were all the usual people except Bala Simpi. After the arti Sayin Baba followed the usual custom of using hard words against the internal enemies, by naming them as Appa Kotya, Telis, Waman Tatya etc. I read Parmamrit with Bapusaheb Jog Upasani, & Rama Maruti. The guest of Bapusaheb Jog from Sangali attended our class. His name is Limayé. We saw Sayin Baba go out & again after he returned to the Masjid. While we were at the Masjid Madhavarao Deshpande returned from Nagar. There was Dadasaheb Karandikar with him, & a gentleman of Baroda. I was very much surprised to see Karandikar. It appears he came to Nagar on a case & meeting Madhavarao Deshpande there decided to see Sayin Baba. We sat talking. Since getting into the council, he is convinced of the insincerity of Gokhale & western professions. He returned to Nagar about 4.30 P.M. The Limayes also went. Permission was refused to them at first but subsequently granted by Sayin Baba. Sadashivarao Dixit wished to go only but was told to depart tomorrow morning with his family, children & Rama Maruti. We saw Sayin Baba at the evening stroll and had Dixits Ramayan after the evening arti at the Wada.
1912 2 January Monday
Shiradi In the morning I got up early & prayed, & saw Sadashiva Rao Dixit, Haralal & Ram Maruti & the ladies of the first and the children Babu & Subhadra whom we call Subhi off. They got permission to return last night. Then I began the routine of the day & read Paramrita with Bapusaheb Jog, Upasani, & Bhishma who is slightly better day. My son Balvant had two motions this morning. They will do him immense good. We saw Sayin Maharaj go out & again after he returned During the course of the worship he put two flowers in his two nostrils & put two others between his ears & the head. My attention was drawn to this by Madhavarao Deshpande. I thought this was an instruction. Sayin Baba repeated the same thing a second time & when I interpreted it a second time in my own mind, he offered the chilam to me & this confirmed me. He said something which I noted instantly & particularly wished to remember but it went clean out of my mind & no efforts made all through the day could bring it back. I am most surprized as this is the first experience of the kind. Sayin Baba also said that his order was supreme (Bala)which I understood to mean that I need not be anxious about the health of my son. By the time the mid-day arti was finished & we returned, I found Mrs Laxmi Bai Kaulgi standing in front of my lodging. I was very glad to see her. She arrived at the Masjid just as I left & saluted Sayin Maharaj. The latter showed special favour by letting her worship then. After meals I lay down for a few minutes and Dixit read Ramayan & some gatha of Nath Maharaj. Upasani was present & Mrs Laxmi Bai Kaulgi attended the class. She joined in the conversation & appeared to be well informed in Vedanta. We saw Sayin Baba at the evening stroll & again at Sheja Arti. Laxmibai sang a few songs. She is an aunt (mavasi) of RadhaKrishna Bai. At night at my request she did a little Bhajan & Dixit read Ramayan.
1912 23 January Tuesday
Shiradi I got up in time for the Kakad Arti and finished my prayers a little after day break. Sayin Baba today in leaving his bed did not say even a single word, but when we saw him go out as usual, he showed a very jocose mood, noticing the absence of Kaka Dixit, said he was busy clearing his bowels. When he appeared Sayin Saheb said “you did not clear yourself but thought you would bow to me first.” We laughed all returned I read Parmamrit with Upasani & Bapusaheb Jog & Bhishma & then went to see Sayin Baba at the Masjid. He was in a reticent mood & never said a word and the midday arti passed off quietly. After it we returned & had our meals. Madhavarao has obtained permission to send Sayin Baba ’s photo & Udi to Hon Mrs Russell. I wished to write to her but did not feel myself in the mood and sat talking with a school master who has come here recently with his family to see Sayin Baba. Dixit read Ramayana & then we went to see Sayin Baba at his evening stroll. He did not say much even then. At night Bhishma for the first time in this week, had his Bhajan. Some young men of the village also came to sing Bhajan & then Dixit read Ramayan.
Mrs Laxmi Bai Kaulgi thinks of staying here always & Sayin Baba said she might do so for good. My son Balvant perspired this morning a little.
1912 24 January Wednesday
Shiradi Somehow I overslept myself this morning. This made me late for everything. I had to hurry through all my usual routine. Somehow Mr Dixit was also late & every body appeared to be in the same predicament. We saw Sayin Baba go out & then read Paramamrit with Upasani, Bhishma & Bapusaheb Jog. I then went to the Masjid to see Sayin Baba. Laxmi Bai Kaulgi attended our Paramrit class & went to the Masjid after I reached. Sayin Baba called her his mother-in-law & made a joke about her saluting him. This gave me the idea that she has been accepted by him as a disciple. The midday arti passed off in the usual way rather quietly. On my return from it I found Mr Sané Mamledar of Kopargaon sitting in the verandah. He was doing revenue work in connection with the extension of Gasthan & removal of the cemetery & burning ghat. After meal I tried to write a few letters but sat talking with Mr Sané. Then Mr Dixit read Ramayan and later on I went to the Masjid to see Sayinsaheb, but as all were dismissed soon, I took Udi & stood near the Chavadhi. I met there the Mahomedan Kabripauthi gentleman who came to Amravati sometime ago with Sathaye & Asnaré. In the evening there was the Arti at the Wada and then Sheja Arti at the Chavadhi. I held the Morachal as usual.
1912 25 January Thursday
Shiradi Madhavarao Deshpande woke me up in the morning & said that he had to call me more than once before I answered his call. I prayed & attended the Kakad Arti. Sayin Baba walked to the Masjid in silence On return we held our Parmamrit class with Upasani, Bapusaheb Jog, Bhishma & Mrs Kaulgi. We finished the chapter on Mahavakya Viveka. Then we saw Sayinsaheb both when he went out & after he returned to Masjid. The midday arti went off as usual & Sayinsaheb gave me smoke very often. After meals I lay down for a while & then we had Ramayan. Dixit read it, & later on went to see Sayin Baba. He was in a pleased mood. At night there was the Wada Arti, Bhishma ’s Bhajan & Dixit ’s Ramayan. I may mention the fact that in the evening at strol time Sayin Baba told me nearly the whole previous history of Mrs Laxmi Bai Kaulgi. I knew it to be correct as I knew the facts.
1912 26 January Friday
Shiradi In the morning I got up very early by myself and miscalculating the time it wanted to sun-rise, I said my prayers & walked up & down in the verandah. I found that I was before time by about an hour & a half. After sunrise I began the routine of life here & went out. Then found that Dhande Baba had arrived from Poona. I naturally sat talking with him. He showed me the latest letter of Tilak. At last the coronation has come & gone without seeing him out of jail. We sat talking about him & Dr Garde who has needlessly got up some trouble just now and wishes particularly to harm me. We read a little of Paramamrita, saw Sayin Baba go out & again after he returned. I felt unwell so I lay down for a while. Dhande Baba went away about 4 P.M. We had our afternoon Ramayan read by Dixit and then went to see Sayin Baba & walked in front of the Chavadhi. At night there was the Wada Arti & Sheja-Arti, Bhishma ’s Bhajan & Ramayana of Dixit. I received some English letters today.
1912 27 January Saturday
Shiradi I got up early in the morning prayed & attended the Kakad arti. Sayin Baba did not quite go to the Masjid without a word & yet he did not say much. I, Upasni, Bhishma & Bapusaheb Jog read Paramamrit, saw Sayin Saheb go out & again after he returned. The mid-day arti passed off easy and after it we had our meals as usual I lay down a while, then wrote a letter, and attended afternoon Ramayan read by Dixit. We saw Sayin Baba at his stroll & he spoke pleasantly though in a serious mood. Towards its end he spoke loud & angry and I am told that after dark he spoke louder still, making an occasion for the exhibition of his anger of the fact that Ibrahim, they stood near the Khind with his hands on the breach of the wall. Sayin Saheb's clothes were also washed by Radha Krishna Bai & he was angry with her for having done so. Balabhau Joshi went today to Poona to read for the pleaders examination. He was not present at the Wade Arti. After it Bhishma had his Bhajan in the hall & Dixit read Ramayan there. I shall sleep in the verandah. All traces of cold weather are fast disappearing here.
1912 28 January Sunday
Shiradi I slept very well last night & got up in time to pray before day break & commence the routine of the day. I went about 8 a.m. to the temple of Khandoba where Upasani lives & sat talking with him. It is a nice little place. We held our Parmamrit class in the quarters of Bapusaheb Jog, as talking & discussing Vendantic subjects in the verandah of my lodgings disturbs my son Balvant.
We saw Sayin Maharaj go out & again after he returned to the Masjid. He asked me how we spent the morning & I gave him an account of what we did. He appeared to be in a pleased mood and the mid-day arti passed off easy except that Radha Krishna Bai appeared to be put out and vexed & she closed the doors So the arti things could not be got at soon. After the midday meal, I lay down for a while, then wrote a letter and attended the Puran of Ramayan by Dixit. Then we went & saw Sayin Maharaj at his evening stroll. Then there was Wada Arti, but no Bhajan as Bhishma was unwell At night Dixit read Ramayan, after we returned from Shejarti.
1912 29 January Monday
Shiradi I got up very early in the morning prayed & found that I was a bit too early but I kept on & attended the Kakad Arti. On my return I began the routine of the day. About 9 A.M. I went to Bapusaheb, with him & Upasani, began the Parmamrit, but most unaccountably I felt so sleepy that I could make no progress. At last I returned to my lodgings & lay down and fell asleep so long that I did not get up till 12.30 or 1 P.M. Madhavarao Deshpande & others tried to awaken me for the Arti & called me aloud but I did not respond. At last they went to the Arti & somehow the matter reached the ears of Sayinsaheb & he said that he would awaken me. Somehow I got up as the arti was being finished and attended the closing portion of it. I felt ashamed of having slept so long. I felt drowsy during the rest of the day. Narayan Rao Bamangankar came today from Sholap. He is a nice young man & I sat talking with him. Then in the afternoon I attended the Purana of Dixit & saw Sayin Saheb at the evening stroll. I had seen him when he went out between 9 & 10 A.M. In the evening there was the Bhajan of Bhishma & afterwards the Puran of Dixit. He read Ramayan as usual.
1912 30 January Tuesday
Shiradi I got up early but did not like to leave bed & begin work for fear of becoming again overcome by sleep as I was yesterday. I left bed before day break, finished by prayers and went to Bapusaheb Jog for our Parmamrit class. Upasani Shastri, Mrs Kaulgi & Bapusaheb were there & we made very good progress. We saw Sayin Baba go out & saw him again after he returned to the Masjid. He asked me how I spent the morning & I gave him an account of what we did. After the mid-day arti, I returned & we had our meal. After it I sat reading the dailies & then wrote a few letters. Later on Mr Dixit read Ramayan. Bhishma & Madhavarao Deshpande attended the reading.
Some two men of this village & the younger brother of Sitaram Denglé also came & sat talking after the reading was finished. One of them recited a Chhanda on Ramayan. Then I went to see Sayin Baba at the Masjid & he again asked how I spent the afternoon. When I mentioned my writing letters, he smiled & said “It is better moving your hands than sitting idle.” We saw him have his evening stroll, and at night attended the Sheja-Arti. There was no Bhajan tonight but reading of Bhagavat took up all its time, and Dixit read Ramayana at night.
1912 February 1 Thursday
Shirdi I was somewhat late in getting up but was able to finish my prayer &.in time to attend the Parmamrit class. The work was finished today & we shall begin to revise it tomorrow I then went to the Masjid, sat with Sayin Maharaj & accompanied him out up to Sathe’s Wada. People assembled there as usual to salute him. I joined their group, saluted him and returning to Bapusaheb Jog’s quarters, commenced Panchadasi & explained the first ten verses which really contain the whole work in germinal form. Then I returned to my quarters wrote a few letters & had them sent off, and went to the Masjid to attend the mid-day Arti. It passed off all right. Mr Manekachand of Ahmednagar who has this year taken the degree of LL.B. came there & stayed here the whole day. We had our meals after we returned from the Arti. I sat reading Jnyaneshwari edited by Sakhrebwa.
Unfortunately, like the other editions, it does not solve all my difficulties. Later on Mr Dixit read Ramayan. Mr Sané Mamledar of Shirdi, and Mr Sathé, Dy Collector & Sub-divisional officer came & sat talking for sometime. We resumed our Ramayan after they went and in the evening went to the Masjid to meet Sayin Baba at his evening stroll. After the Wada Arti, we attended the Sheja- Arti, Bhishma did not have his Bhajan but read Sakharoru’s Prakrit Bagavat & at night Mr Dixit read Ramayan. Today evening when we assembled at the Masjid before Sayin Baba started on his stroll, Sayin Saheb told Mr Dixit to give two hundred Rupees to my wife who was there champooing the legs of Sayinsaheb. This order was unaccountable. Has it come to this that I have to be maintained by charity!!! I prefer death to this. Sayin Saheb I think wishes to curb & finally destroy my pride. So he is getting me used to poverty and the charity of others.