Model Essay #1 10th Grade Practice Prompt topic #1



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Model Essay #1

10th Grade Practice Prompt

TOPIC #1: “If you’re not cheating, you’re not winning, and it’s only cheating if you get caught.”

– Jim Rome If people don’t get caught cheating, are they still winners?


Write a five-paragraph persuasive essay to be placed in the team code of conduct convincing the readers that cheating is never right or that cheaters can actually be winners.
Think About:

  • a time when cheating has occurred

  • the consequences of choices made whether to cheat or not

  • the importance placed on winning in today’s society

  • details convincing enough so others will agree to make changes

“If you’re not cheating, you’re not winning, and it’s only cheating if you get caught.” (Attention Grabber) This quote by Jim Rome, a syndicated sports talk host, shows the world’s warped look at winning at all costs. (Situation/Opposition) Cheating is wrong because a cheater can get in trouble, he or she will miss out on important learning and it’s unfair to others. (Thesis)

Cheating can lead to some serious consequences. (Topic Sentence) To begin, the student will get a zero on the assignment if caught. (Supporting Idea #1; Point 1) Students who have cheated and received a zero have struggled to bring up their grade to passing. That zero can be the difference between passing and failing the class. (Evidence; I/E) Students caught cheating more than once can receive a referral or even be suspended. (Supporting Idea #2; Point 2) Committing plagiarism, or copying and pasting from the Internet, is an example of a referable offense for a high school student. At the college level, students can be expelled from their university, which means they don’t get their money back, and they cannot return ever. (Evidence; I/E) Losing trust is another consequence of cheating. (Supporting Idea #3; Point 3) Parents, teachers and even classmates now see the cheater as being dishonest and untruthful. Without trust, what does one have? (Evidence; I/E) Although sometimes cheating feels like no big deal, losing trust and suffering consequences can affect a student for a lifetime. (Concluding Sentence; Addressing Opposing Argument)

When students cheat, they not only cheat the system, they cheat themselves. (Topic Sentence) The life-lessons that can be learned from possible failure or defeat build character and perseverance. (Supporting Idea #1; Point 1) An athlete who loses a game, but tries his or her best, can be humbled by that experience. Learning to be an honorable loser is just as important as learning to be a gracious winner. (Evidence; I/E) Taking the easy road not only leads students on a boring path, but it also robs them of memorable experiences. (Supporting Idea #2; Point 2) Most people learn by doing, and when people cheat, they miss out on the worthwhile learning experiences that come with learning new concepts or skills. (Evidence; I/E) Lastly, and most importantly, if students constantly cheat, they are not getting any smarter. (Supporting Idea #3; Point 3) They aren’t learning the information and skills needed to graduate high school. Without this knowledge, students won’t be competitive in the job market and the adult world. (Evidence; I/E) While cheating may be seen as an easier way out or convenient at the time, in the long run, students are better off working hard and doing the work themselves. (Concluding Sentence; Addressing Opposing Argument)

Cheaters take advantage of other people, and that’s not fair. (Topic Sentence) In relationships, people are supposed to be committed. . (Supporting Idea #1; Point 1) When one person deceives the other by hooking up with someone else, it betrays trust. Without knowing a partner is with someone else, a person is unfairly exposed to unknown diseases and health risks. (Evidence; I/E) Additionally, the world of sports has been rocked with the accusations for having unfair physical advantages. (Supporting Idea #2; Point 2) Professional athletes have admitted to blood doping, using steroids or stimulants. It’s unfair to those athletes who are using hard work and determination to be successful. (Evidence; I/E) Not only do people cheat in the real world, but they also cheat in the virtual world. (Supporting Idea #3; Point 3) In video games, players have access to secret codes that allow players to have unlimited lives and ammunition. Online gaming cheaters have extraordinary powers that make their playing vastly uneven. (Evidence; I/E) Although society has come to see these activities as mainstream, more and more people see how unfair the advantages are and speak out against it. (Concluding Sentence; Addressing Opposing Argument)

So whether someone is using cheat codes from “Call of Duty,” injecting steroids, or copying and pasting an essay off the Internet for his or her English class, cheating has many serious downsides. (Restatement of Thesis) The message is loud and clear: cheaters never win, and winners never cheat. Stand up for what is right; don’t cheat, be honest, live with integrity. (Call to Action)



SCORING:

Ideas and Content - Supporting details, shares insight, main ideas stand out; ideas are not as specific or vibrant as in a 6 paper (5)

Organization - Effective sequencing, easy to follow, smooth transitions (6)

Voice- Appropriate for topic, expressive, sincere (6)

Word Choice - Strong, specific words, expression could be more vivid, carefully chosen, thoughtfully placed (5)

Sentence Fluency - Variation in sentence structure, length and beginnings, natural, fluid (6)

Conventions - Little need for editing, strong control of conventions (6)




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