1) Vague (a text that is so general it has little to no information)
“Incredible discoveries from outer space have led to further investigations.”
2) Use active voice (a.v.)
“Brown and Smith have done research, which is about the cloning of humans.”
3) Problem with Sentence Structure (s.s.)
ambiguity: “The average American emits 49 tons of greenhouse gases each year.”
Regarding the effects of acid rain on trees and buildings:
“Buildings are not as life threatening as trees and water may be.”
4) Bad choice of words (w/c)
thing, believe, issue
5) Incorrect verb tense (tense)
6) Repetition of words, phrases or information.
“… helps enable …”
“The moon, a place that was once only dreamed of reaching, became a reality in 1969 when Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon”
7) Good intention, bad execution (gibe)
“They often will not think of a product in a positive light – such as that BMW believes consumers to be intelligent enough to learn now to use such a perplexing vehicle, but instead that the company is playing a cruel joke on the consumer and insulting their intelligence by making such a complicated car.” (monstrous runon)
8) Don’t use the word “thing” readily. It is too common and has too broad a significance, causing the reader’s mind to wander.
“… research done in the area of neurodegenerative diseases…”
10) Colloquialisms (pop)
“all sorts of things”
“acid rain gets into”
“this means that”
11) Phrase that dangles at the end of a paragraph (dangle)
12) An obvious point or unnecessary sentence (n..n.)
13) A sentence with too little information. (nei)
14) Unorganized paragraphs (ps)
Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
The most valuable of all talents is that of nNever useing two words when one will do.
A Few of the Topics
HIV / AIDS
If You Give (a) Mouse a Stem Cell…
The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient amused while nature heals the decease.
Notable First Sentence:
Gregory Cochran, a professor at the University of Utah already deemed controversial for this “pathogentic theory of homosexuality” has produced another controversial hypothesis regarding Ashkenazi Jewish intelligence and natural selection (Haslinger)*
* Compare this to another year’s winner: “A person dies of suicide every 18 minutes [in the United States]”
Strunk and White, The Elements of Style.
Make an appointment at the Writing Resource Center, Bear Down Building, east side, Room 102. 9 AM-4 PM Monday-Friday
Disorganization. (p.s.) Make an outline. Make conscious decisions about the ordering of your main points.
Vague sentences. (vague) Be precise and specific. Educate the reader, and thereby obtain their trust. Example: A person dies of suicide every 18 minutes in the [United States] …
Word Choice. Use a broad range of words. Use them correctly.
Repetitiveness. (rep) Do not repeat. It bores the reader.
Useless (n.n.) Each sentence must add something essential to your essay.
Deranged Sentences (s.s.) Ensure that sentences are clear The average American emits 49 tons of greenhouse gases each year and grammatically correct. Do not tax the brain of your reader. Example: Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee.*
Not precise, not concrete: if a gecko used all of its setae, microscopic hairs on the bottom of its feet, at the same time, it could support over 280 pounds.
Bad example: “I feel like black holes are really interesting. I really liked the article.”
Good example: “It is not easy for me to pass these people without being concerned; they look so fragile and helpless, even though they always make an effort to look strong. Or, maybe they are strong, in a way that we cannot be aware of; after all, it is no easy task to live without your arms or legs….”
Good example: “As you are reading this, over four thousand patients are on a waiting list for a heart transplant.”
Bad Example: “Greenhouse gases are potentially dangerous.”
Bad Example: “Globular clusters are a very important element of galactic structure.”
Words to use with care: truly, really, very
Use Active Voice Avoid over use of the verb “to be.”
Bad Example: “The walls were covered with Geckos.”
Better: “Geckos covered the walls.”
Bad Example: “The reason that he dropped the course was because of poor grades.”
Better: “His bad grades compelled him to drop the course.”
Bad Example: “Several investigations that have been carried out show that dolphins will someday rule the world.”
Better: “Several investigations find that dolphins will someday rule the world.
Reconstruction of the Northern Hemisphere temperatures coral and ice-core proxy records (Mann et al. 1999, 1998, Jones & Briff 1992)
Rising Ocean temperatures
The Atlantic, Pacific and Indian oceans have warmed by 0.06 C in since 1955 (Science, 24 March 2000, pg 2225). This result was determined by compiling millions of measurements of the deep oceans made from 1948 to 1995.
More recently (Science, 13 April 2001), climate calculations indicate that the anthropogenic rise in CO2 explains this sea warming.
Coral reefs are dying all around the world, likely as a result of the warming of the oceans.
Complete melting would raise sea level by 7 meters.
Melting Polar Ice
The northeast passage is predicted to open up in 2050, allowing ships to sail from London to Japan along the coast of Siberia.
Increasingly higher number of Polar Bears drowning. (Science 2007)
Sea levels are rising
Present predictions based on glacial melt rates indicate that the sea level will rise 10-20 inches in the next century. Rate of rise is 0.1 inch since 1993 (NASA).
Melt all of the ice sheets: 70 m increase in sea level (above scale in meters)
Earth has warmed 1° F in the last century
The CO2 abundance has risen by 20% since 1950.
The oceans have warmed 0.06 C since 1955.
The sea level is rising 0.1 inches each year.
Global Warming & Society
In 1997 the Kyoto Protocol was formulated.
The treaty calls for the 38 largest industrial nations to reduce emissions due to greenhouse gases.
But the Protocol would not take effect until it is ratified by the nations emitting at least 55% of the greenhouse gases.
In March of 2001, the USA rejected the Protocol on the grounds that it would hurt the economy.
The USA, with 4% of the world population, produces 25% of the greenhouse gases. The protocol would require the USA to reduce the emissions by 7% by 2010.
In June 2002, the European Union and many other countries, including Japan, proceeded to ratify the Protocol, without the USA. The union of countries produce almost 55% of the greenhouse gases.
USA consumes 25% of the World’s Oil
USA has 4.5% of the World Population
Paris vs Tucson
1960 metro stops in Paris!
The European Union's ratification of the Kyoto Protocol is a clear indication that, with enough political will and collective social effort, the challenges of our time, complex though they may be, can be addressed successfully through ... cooperation. -- Environment Commissioner to the EU, Margot Wallstrom
Another Way to Look at it
The presence of clouds, which reflect sunlight and therefore cool the planet add to the uncertainties in the ability for climate models to predict the future climate of Earth.