From what I started to my now revised paper I did a lot of changes. First of all and mostly was simple grammar, such as commas and different punctuation. Then I had to edit most of my sentence because most of the started with I. For a bunch of sentences I just reworded the whole sentence so I was not incorporated into it. Also for probably two paragraphs I added details to some of my work.
For the first paper I had to write about my roommates experiences in graduating from high school and obtaining his license. I wouldn’t say that it didn’t learn anything about myself because it wasn’t deep, but I did rethink a lot about my past. I really had a lot of reminiscing about my high school days and the first time I drove my car legally. Also thoughts of graduation day brought back a lot of memories even though it wasn’t to long ago. It really just reminded me how fast I am truly growing up.
For my second paper I used a lot of critical writing skills. I just had to really analyze what life would be like if money wasn’t needed to live peacefully without financial worries. If money weren’t an issue for anybody a lot of weight would be taken off of people’s shoulders. I know coming from a home where my parents were not rich there was lots of fighting and arguments over money and bills. If money weren’t a worry for my parents they would have barely ever had an argument.
I feel that my writing skills have heavily improved over the semester even though I still have things to work on. Mostly I think that just my fluency to writing an essay came along a lot of writing our first to papers. I put a lot more focus on my sentence structures. One part that I got better in and still need to improve on is just my basic grammar. For example I had so many errors in punctuation my last essay even though I tried a lot harder to improve on it. But on more thing for me to improve on is the repetition of my pronouns I use to start a sentence.
Dr. Jeffery Dories
March 23, 2013
What if Money Didn’t Matter?
What would life be like if money was not an issue for anybody? As far as my life is concerned, I certainly would not be in college right now writing this essay. I could see myself coming out of high school and just traveling the world for years. I would visit Europe and all the islands in the Bahamas, and have the time of my life. It would be an amazing experience that I will most likely never have in my life. I would also have as many kids as possible because I wouldn’t have to worry about financial issues. Then I would live on a nice piece of property with a big old house, right on the beach. My garage would be full of cars, four wheelers, and plenty of other things to have fun with. Raising my children, growing a lot of gardens, enjoying life and going to the gym, would spend my free time. As much as I love college on the weekend, I would never have stepped foot on a college campus. I’m here so that one day I can get a good job, and even now that is not guaranteed. Although I am having fun through my years, I still would not be in college.
As much as I love college, I would certainly not be here right now if money wasn’t a necessity to life. After high school, I would enjoy my summer then promptly hop on a plane right to the Caribbean. First thing to do would be island jumping each for a month until there were no more islands to visit. I have been to Aruba and St. Martin twice. It is just beautiful you be able to walk in the ocean and actually see your own feet. Snorkeling there was basically unreal; you are able to see such great structures under water and fish you will never see in your life again. Nearly Everybody that are locals there are such nice people and polite to everyone. It is just so nice and relaxing to hanging out on a beautiful beach everyday. If I could, I would live down there, but they have a terrible economy and since everything is imported, it is very expensive for necessities.
I would spend some time in Australia then make my way to Europe. First, I would stop in Italy for a pretty long time because that is where my Grandparents came from. My grandparents got married in Italy, and then my grandfather came over on a boat to work for enough money to get my grandmother to the states. He worked his ass off for a year and got enough money for plane tickets to get my grandmother and him back to the states when he went back. He went an entire year without his wife just so they could have a brighter future. I would really want to see how they lived their life and would just stay with my cousins the whole time. It would be great experiences to just see where my mom’s side of the family really originated. To be able to really just sink in what my grandfather went through before hopping on a boat to America would just mean the world to me. After about a month or so, I would head through England then France and possibly Ireland then head back home. But in reality, I feel it would cost minimum tens of thousands anywhere into hundreds of thousands of dollars. This is more than unrealistic for any normal eighteen year old, unless you come from an extremely rich family, which I do not. It would be great to just see a lot of different cultures, I feel if everyone traveled the world they would respect others more so than now and not be so hesitant to accept other cultures. Instead, I go from what I thought was a beat area called Allentown to across the state to a more rural boring town Indiana. There is very little excitement in both of these towns. If I could I would have went to Florida or California, but out of state tuition is just way to much money, and coming to this school it is dirt cheap.
In my mind now I see my self-having two to three kids at maximum. Kids are expensive to raise and if you are working a full time job, it is too much to ask a women to raise six children. Financially if you have a large family that would always be a burden, but having six kids running around and only one parent home it would be a mad house. If money wasn’t an object, and I never had to work a day in my life, I would have at least six kids. With two parents home all the time it would be a lot easier to raise a whole bunch of children. Not only that but if you never worked that would take up so much of your day and really keep you busy. If I was home with my wife all the time I would love to have at least one puppy per child I had. I love dogs so much and I feel if a puppy is paired with a baby the dogs always look out for the children. My days would be spent waking up around noon, going on a nice jog then lifting for about an hour. Instead in the real world I am going to have to wake up probably at four or five in the morning just to get ready for work. Then I would just feed all my pups with my older of the kids. Have my children help me tend my gardens. Then just head back to my house hang out with all of my kids and if it nice out go swimming to in the pool or in the ocean. As a man usually you are considered the breadwinner in American society and is not home all the time to take care of your kids. Usually a stay at home mom takes car of the children. As children get older they under stand that but I would be nice to be home and with your kids all the time.
Not that raising a family while working full time isn’t attainable but I feel if you never had to work and you were home the whole time your family would be a lot closer. My dad always comes home at around four thirty and my mom works part time. So during the school year in high school there was only a few times everyone was home together because everyone is so busy. My family was always busy, personally it was football and basketball when my sister was busy with field hockey and dance. It was just so hectic everyone was all over the place at all different times. Absolutely have nothing against my parents for it because they had to work to just put food on the table. If my parents had a hundred million in the bank and never worked we would have been together all the time. It would be great to just eat around two meals a day together with your whole family. Take the kids to school in the morning and then picking them up when they are done would be just great. But in reality I am going to have to wake up by at least five a.m. every morning then be home around five in the afternoon. But I will always strive to have my family as close as possible and eat dinner together every night.
My dream house would be right around a mile walk from the beach on a nice minimum of a fifty-acre property. The house itself would be looking like it was on MTV cribs. With an elevator on the inside, marble everything, nice wood floors, tons of sixty inch TV’s, indoor basket ball court, bowling ring, and the biggest master bedroom. Then you would walk into my garage, which would be not even connecting to my house because it would be so big. I would one half for cars then the other half for my off-roading toys. My personal toys would consist of four wheelers, maybe some jet skis, a boat, and some dirt bikes. Then my cars would be the nicest car collection every. Defiantly would for sure have some nice classic muscle cars, a Humvee, some big old trucks since I would careless about gas. Then a nice rolls Royce which costs way more than my future salary in an entire year. My days would be just riding around my property with my kids on ATV’s all day long. Would also have to get a nice pond on my property so I could spend time fishing and driving my jet ski’s on them when it is nice out. I would just drive around my property taking care of the land and tending my gardens. It would be nice to eat the food you grow yourself because it would actually be fully organic and you know what was going into the food since you grew it. In reality I am most likely going to live in a neighborhood where the houses are on top of each other or if I am lucky have a few acres of land because the price of land is so high. Also if anything I would be happy in reality with a nice truck, one nice car, and maybe a classic muscle car for the weekends because it really isn’t to unrealistic. Also I would have a quad or two just because I have one now and was grown up driving them with my family. Myself I’d want my kids to do the same and they don’t have such an unattainable price tag unless you are buying something crazy, which I wont. It will not be all the nice cars that celebrities drive but I will be happy with just a few cars and nice toys.
If money were not an issue for me I would have never ended up here in college. I enjoy the weekend and social life but I could have just as much fun without school. Its not that it is so hard but it is just an effort to keep above a 3.0. You really need to apply yourself and study to do well. It would be so much easier to not worry about school and about your future if money is not a problem. I come here so I could have a career and have a good future job. But I have to worry about my student loan and also have to worry about not getting a job in my major after I graduate anyway. But if you knew you had enough money for your whole life that would be so much stress off of my back. It would be a nice life of leisure to just know you have no financial worries and just have to take life as it goes.
If money didn’t exist, my life would be completely different. Almost all of my decisions in life are somehow influenced by money. I would not be in college; I would be traveling the world for years, also living in a big old mansion. My responsibilities would not exist, and would be able to spend much more time for fun activities and not worrying about life. Without worrying about spending money or being able to make money, my life would not be the same like it is today.