Analyze this essay for elements of an argument including (hook, thesis, claims (reasons), evidence, and warrants, and a call to action. Highlight the text and annotate your highlighted selections in the right column



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Sixth Grade Argument Writing Sample-

Analyze this essay for elements of an argument including (hook, thesis, claims (reasons), evidence, and warrants, and a call to action. Highlight the text and annotate your highlighted selections in the right column. Then use the rubric on the bottom to score this essay.

Animals are Smart

Some people think that we are superior to animals but I think that animals are as smart as we are. Pets react to your moods and seem to know just when It’s dinner time! Some animals use tools, communicate and think for their own.


If animals can use tools, they must be smart. For instance, a cow named Betty made a hook out of a piece of metal wire. That’s obviously pretty smart but she didn’t stop there.She then used the hook to get treats out of a glass tube. I think this is smart because Betty figured out how to make a tool to get something she wanted. Another smart animal who used a tool was Fu Manchu the Orangutan. Fu Manchu first traded Food for wire with another orangutan and then he hid it in his mouth until the right time. Then he used the wire as a tool to pick the lock on his cage and escape. I think this shows Fu Manchu was smart because he used a tool and he outsmarted humans by escaping from his cage.
Animals who communicate might be even smarter than animals who use tools. For instance one clever gorilla actually learned sign language! Not only that but she started making her own signs. This showed scientists that she was trying to communicate her thoughts, which takes big brainpower. I think this is smart because when Koko made her own signs it showed that she wasn’t just memorizing signs, she was thinking and making her own signs. Another smart animal who could understand communication was Betsy the dog. Betsy understands 340 spoken words! Not only that, but when someone showed her a picture of something she had never seen before she would go and get the item. I think this is really smart because Betsy didn’t just memorize words she could recognize objects and fetch them. Betsy didn’t really communicate, but I think she understood so much. It’s just as good.
For animals who don’t communicate or use tools there is another category: Animals that think on their own. For example, the poison dart Frog. Aside from protecting themselves with poison, they have AMAZING memories! The mothers hide their pollywogs in individual nests all over the jungle and had to remember where each one is and to come back every couple days to feed them! I think that 191 is amazing how they think for their own because every pollywog (up to 35!) is in a different, camoflauged spot and their mom can still remember where each and every one is. Another example of animals thinking on their own is Alex, the African grey parrot. Alex can figure out alikeness and difference between two objects. For instance, when scientists hold up two objects and ask what the difference is he will answer either shape or color, depending on what it was. This is really smart because not only can Alex tell the difference he can tell what is the same about some objects. I’d say that is a pretty smart bird to be able to figure out what was the same and different in his mind, but he also translated that out into words. I’d say these animals are really smart in thinking on their own.
I know that some of you may think that animals are not smart. Some of you may think that animals are not smart. Some of you may think that most of the animals I talked about were special, that they were bred in a lab. But animals in natural life are smart too. For instance, a girl in my class named Erin has a farm, and every day her dad goes out at 2:30 AM to milk them. The cows line up at 2:25 am without being told. I think that this is smart because the cows know what time it is, AND line up early without being told. I think this is really smart of the cows. Another real life example of smart animals is my friend Mandy’s Cockatoo. Now, you all know Cockatoos repeat what is said. This Cockatoo, However takes it a step farther. Instead of just saying things at random times, she actually answers the door when the doorbell is rung. She dosn’t open the door, but she does say things like “Hello”, and “Come in.” I think this is smart because instead of just saying random words, she responds with the right words at right time.

My goal of this essay was to convince you that animals were smart. You may have already known this and reading this essay was a waste of time to you. Or, you might have thought animals were not smart and still think that. If that is the case I have failed in my essay. However If you have changed your mind and now think that animals are smart, I have succeeded! I know that animals are smart, especially ones that use tools, communicate, and think for their own.









Idaho

State Standard

4

Exceeds Target

3

At Target

2

Near Target

1

Below Target

(W.6.1)Write an argument with clear reasons and relevant evidence, where I...













  1. introduce claims and organize the reasons/evidence clearly (W.6.1a)













B. support claims with clear and relevant reasons, use credible sources and demonstrate understanding of the topic (W.6.1b)













C. use words, phrases, and clauses to clarify relationships among claims/reason (W.6.1c)













D. establish and maintain a formal style (W.6.1d)













E. provide a concluding statement or section that flows from the presented argument (W.6.1e)















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